cale harper @calethoughts
writer @themysteryhour | award-losing comedian | a fresh mellow cabbage flavor Washington, DC Joined January 2018-
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Jesus at the Last Supper:
My haters are forming an encampment at my alma mater demanding I divest from my swag
cale harper retweeted
Liberals: if you don't vote for Biden then Trump will win! Conservatives: if you don't vote for Trump then you are a pedophile! The stillness of the dawn, pierced by an elk's cry:
Damn girl, are you a girl? Because I’m scared of you
What if we kissed under the light of the Shinzo Abe assassination footage
To me, the grind is when I take a few minutes to watch and react to the 40+ TikToks my friends send me each day
I found a grimace pilfering through the dumpster at my apartment complex
Billion Dollar Baby fight please 🤞🏻
Day 6 of unemployment: I received a haircut from an Italian man who smelled of pine and hot newspaper. He shorn me with the skill of a Chilean shepherd. Will you join me in celebrating our multicultural society?
Day 5 of unemployment: I’ve obtained two CDs of unknown origin from the woods behind my pharmacy. I fear they may be damaged beyond function. Will you join me in my pledge to preserve the relics of our culture?
Day 4 of unemployment: I have completed my pilgrimage to Grimace’s ancestral homeland, as is my birthright. This is his body, broken for us. Will you join me in tasting the milk of The Purple One?
June 6, 1944: Allied forces storm the beaches at Normandy June 6, 2023: Baby Gronk stole Livvy from the Drip King
cale harper retweeted
Succession but it's Sam Raimi's Spider-Man trilogy.
Unfortunately for the haters I have a beautiful mind
The NFL has no business drafting more players. There’s enough
Some people can’t stand a swagged out white boy with a little hometown pride
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