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Capt. Reasoning @captreasoning

World Joined November 2013
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captreasoning Profile Picture

Capt. Reasoning @captreasoning

7 years ago

Crabs always look like they're walking themselves out of an awkward situation ....

captreasoning Profile Picture

Capt. Reasoning @captreasoning

7 years ago

Instead of buying a new pair of sunglasses I think Ill just randomly leave $100 somewhere.

captreasoning Profile Picture

Capt. Reasoning @captreasoning

7 years ago

CAMPING TIP: If you get lost in the woods. a compass can help you get lost more north.

captreasoning Profile Picture

Capt. Reasoning @captreasoning

7 years ago

I wanna hang a map of the world in my house. Then I'm gonna put pins into all the locations that I've traveled to. But first. I'm gonna have to travel to the top two corners of the map so it won't fall down.

captreasoning Profile Picture

Capt. Reasoning @captreasoning

7 years ago

we need friends who tell us what we need to hear. not what we want to hear. your eyebrows suck. that shirt makes you look wide. dump him.

captreasoning Profile Picture

Capt. Reasoning @captreasoning

7 years ago

i feel like i need to go to rehab for my avocado addiction. :(

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Capt. Reasoning @captreasoning

9 years ago

Choose a job you love and you will never work a day in your life because that field isn't hiring.

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Capt. Reasoning @captreasoning

9 years ago

Probably the worst part about being a snail is how you can't put salt on your French fries.

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Capt. Reasoning @captreasoning

9 years ago

Your password needs to contain a capital letter a number an emoji a plot and a protagonist with some character development and a twist end.

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Capt. Reasoning @captreasoning

9 years ago

Reading's great. You stare at stained slices of tree for hours on end. hallucinating vividly as time passes you by.

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Capt. Reasoning @captreasoning

9 years ago

ALWAYS ask how much horsepower a horse has. If a horse has less than one horsepower. you've got yourself a crap horse.

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Capt. Reasoning @captreasoning

9 years ago

I could never be a hardcore gangsta rapper because there's probably a limit to how much you can enjoy a scone in public.

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Capt. Reasoning @captreasoning

9 years ago

I'm 87% sure snooze button time is sped up and waiting for the microwave time is slowed down and this is not okay.

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Capt. Reasoning @captreasoning

9 years ago

Hipster farmers don't harvest crops because they're only cool when they're underground.

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Capt. Reasoning @captreasoning

9 years ago

My girlfriend said she's leaving me because I always relate everything to Batman. What a Joker.

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Capt. Reasoning @captreasoning

9 years ago

Had to pause Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory to go buy a king sized Snickers. This is why i can not watch Breaking Bad.

captreasoning Profile Picture

Capt. Reasoning @captreasoning

9 years ago

I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem. T

captreasoning Profile Picture

Capt. Reasoning @captreasoning

9 years ago

maybe your boyfriend broke up with you cuz you called him baby instead of something cool like king wiener

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Capt. Reasoning @captreasoning

9 years ago

Well... the Earth just rotated 360 degrees on its axis. Let's call it a day.

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Capt. Reasoning @captreasoning

9 years ago

Kids. you'll never know the pain of digging the innards of a loved cassette out of a cheap stereo and crying as you wind it up with a pencil

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