self congratulator @crabscience

learned blacksmith cville - ithaca - nyc - ct-? Joined December 2011

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self congratulator @crabscience

2 days ago

Plain Sun Chips taste like chlorine but in a good way

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self congratulator @crabscience

3 days ago

Sometimes I text myself stuff like "more audiobooks"

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self congratulator @crabscience

4 days ago

I love when I'm drunk and my 200th favorite song comes on.

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julia colander @juliacolander

2 weeks ago

does anyone else love Steely Dan, Seinfeld, and Beer? RETWEET 2 SAVE AMERICA

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self congratulator @crabscience

3 weeks ago

Much like Ken's job is beach, hers was autumn. What a run.

Pop Base @PopBase

3 weeks ago

Much like Ken's job is beach, hers was autumn. What a run.

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self congratulator @crabscience

a month ago

Happy to announce that upon returning from the shower I am now de-grimed and stench-free.

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self congratulator @crabscience

a month ago

Aaron Boone keeps getting more gorgeous every year

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cool texas timothy @dreadconquest

2 months ago

guy that was just on epstein's island for the zipline

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Nick Harris @NickHarrisFWST

2 months ago

Baylor’s Dave Aranda just gave one of the most bizarre answers to a question I think I’ve ever heard

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self congratulator @crabscience

2 months ago

McCartney's RAM on vinyl at the bar 👨‍🍳

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self congratulator @crabscience

2 months ago

this is the new, "baby shoes for sale never worn."

Elon Musk @elonmusk

2 months ago

this is the new, "baby shoes for sale never worn."

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self congratulator @crabscience

2 months ago

If Alex G is from Philly, why is he so sad? Doesn't he know the Eagles are the best team in football?

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Tre’Shon @tre3shon

2 months ago

In just one summer, Pablo Torre has shown why turning sports journalism over to AI will be a monumental mistake and how AI will never be able to replicate the curiosity of a sports sicko.

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The Tonight Show @FallonTonight

2 months ago

.@themandalman doesn’t know how he’s supposed to lose weight when delivery apps exist 🤣 #FallonTonight #StandUp

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Benny Feldman 🪸🫧🐠 @Feldfrog

2 months ago

Alien Epidural

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my life is a living hell. every minute is torture @on_da_spectrum

2 months ago

I like Shane Gillis, thought his ESPYs monologue was pretty good, but he needs to quit the “I know that’s not a good joke”/“I didn’t write that one” 4th-wall breaks when he’s on TV. You gotta take responsibility for the quality of the jokes, you’re the one up there telling em!