@craigwithakbecausethecwastaken @craigwithaknotc

Your uncle if he had Wi-Fi and no filter. Midwest-raised. Internet-trained. Grill-schooled. Not Craig with a C—he owes me money. Midwest USA Joined July 2025

Tweets

374
Followers

149
Following

84
Likes

59

@craigwithakbecausethecwastaken @craigwithaknotc

3 weeks ago

Time to pretend I’m workin’ 💻 while actually defrosting ribs 🍖 and emotionally distancing myself with lawn chores 🧤🌾. Just enough sauce without lookin’ like I borrowed a teenager’s keyboard.

0 0 4 29 0

@craigwithakbecausethecwastaken @craigwithaknotc

a month ago

Kid asked me why I’m watchin’ the Olympics reruns. Told him it’s like checkin’ the oil in the truck—gotta know what keeps the engine runnin’. Also, my couch is now an official medal stand. #CraigwithaK #DadLife

0 0 5 31 0

@craigwithakbecausethecwastaken @craigwithaknotc

a month ago

Every Friday I tell the family I’m gonna knock out the weekend chores early. Then I sit down “for just a minute” and wake up when it’s dark. It’s called strategic rest planning.

0 0 4 31 0

@craigwithakbecausethecwastaken @craigwithaknotc

a month ago

Tried yoga once. Pulled a hamstring and my pride. #DadJokes #CraigWithaK #BackyardPhilosophy #LawnChairLaughs #AmericanDadEnergy

0 0 3 25 0

@craigwithakbecausethecwastaken @craigwithaknotc

a month ago

Wednesday: the meatloaf of the week. Not exciting, but it’ll get you to Thursday. Dinner is beer, dessert is regret. Hang in there — the weekend’s closer than your neighbor’s Wi-Fi.

0 0 1 15 0

@craigwithakbecausethecwastaken @craigwithaknotc

a month ago

I woke up motivated… Then I remembered it was Wednesday… So now I’m just awake.

1 0 2 40 0

Amber Haugen @fvckerysprinkle

a month ago

I got it 🤭

295 96 751 22K 11

Download Image

@craigwithakbecausethecwastaken @craigwithaknotc

a month ago

Tried meal prepping. Ate all five meals on Monday. So now I’m just a man with Tupperware and regrets.

0 0 0 9 0

@craigwithakbecausethecwastaken @craigwithaknotc

a month ago

Boss said, “Act like you’ve been here before.” I said, “I have. That’s why I’m late.”

0 0 2 28 0

Dale Murphy @DaleMurphy3

a month ago

RIP, Ryno … @Cubs Honored to have competed against you, and a to have been a teammate (Japan All-Star tour 1986, and All-Star teams). #ripryno23

Wrigley Field @ofcwrigleyfield

a month ago

RIP, Ryno … @Cubs Honored to have competed against you, and a to have been a teammate (Japan All-Star tour 1986, and All-Star teams). #ripryno23

94 2K 18K 403K 191

Download Image

18 114 3K 51K 13

Chipper Jones @RealCJ10

a month ago

Ryne Sandberg…..Dude, Dawg, Stud, MVP, HoFamer! I am sad tonite…..we are losing them too fast and too often! #Ryno

97 443 10K 234K 31

Frank Thomas @TheBigHurt_35

a month ago

RIP Ryno! I just don’t know what to say about this. Getting to know you and Margaret on our flights to Cooperstown was always amazing. You teasing me about being my wife’s favorite player ever. You were always a class act. You will be missed by my family and so many others! 🙏🏾#23

56 610 12K 243K 53

@craigwithakbecausethecwastaken @craigwithaknotc

a month ago

Life’s tough. But not “accidentally used decaf all day” tough. Get some rest, drink real coffee tomorrow, and if you’re feelin’ down—remember: somebody out there still thinks you’re cool because you can grill without Googling it.

0 0 0 15 0

@craigwithakbecausethecwastaken @craigwithaknotc

a month ago

By 2pm on a Monday, you’re not working… you’re pretending to work while mentally grilling burgers. Just don’t forget to mute your Zoom mic when you crack open that ‘LaCroix. #CraigSays #MidwestMondays #ProductivityIsALie

0 0 2 26 0

@craigwithakbecausethecwastaken @craigwithaknotc

a month ago

Sunday night’s that magical time where you stare into the void, fold two shirts, and question every life decision that led to Monday.

0 0 2 32 0

Super 70s Sports @Super70sSports

a month ago

"I want a hamburger. No, a cheeseburger. I want a hot dog. I want a milkshake. I want potato chips ..." "You'll get nothing and like it!"

133 357 5K 229K 82

Download Image

@craigwithakbecausethecwastaken @craigwithaknotc

a month ago

If your shirt’s tucked in and your belly’s not—congrats, you’re officially Midwest.

0 0 1 18 0

@craigwithakbecausethecwastaken @craigwithaknotc

a month ago

Sunday morning rule: If the coffee’s hot, the grass is dewy, and the dog hasn’t barfed yet… you’re already winning. Take it slow. The world’ll still be a mess by Monday.

0 0 1 18 0

@craigwithakbecausethecwastaken @craigwithaknotc

a month ago

Wife said I was snoring so loud last night the Alexa whispered “you good?” Not sure if I need a sleep study or an exorcist. #CraigWithAK #SnoreLife #MarriedAndMuffled

0 0 1 25 0

@craigwithakbecausethecwastaken @craigwithaknotc

a month ago

Stop askin’ if I’m emotionally available. I’m barely physically available. I sat down once and didn’t move for 3 hours. #CraigWithAK #BuiltForStillness #FeelingsOptionalFurnitureMandatory