D_Towne @davidtowne23

Caffeine Machine/Dax Shepard doppelgänger/SAG Actor-Writer/F45 Santa Monica and Venice Head Coach. Tweets are regurgitated from you. davidtowneactor.com Los Angeles, CA Joined February 2011

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D_Towne @davidtowne23

3 years ago

Them: "Variety is the spice of life" Me: "have you tried Everything But the Bagel Seasoning?"

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D_Towne @davidtowne23

3 years ago

I just caught myself leaning in to my friends' posts for their #2022wrapped and I'm...I'm clearly not ok.

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D_Towne @davidtowne23

3 years ago

I told a friend my old roommate potty-trained his tortoise. Friend: “…I’m not sure what that’d be like.” Me: “It took a while”

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D_Towne @davidtowne23

3 years ago

Anybody else out there who worked in Chicago kitchens find #thebear to be surprisingly comforting? No? Word.

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D_Towne @davidtowne23

3 years ago

Peleton Spotify ads: lower the resistance. I don’t need you to yell “you didn’t show up to be basic” in between my evening of 2010s Mumford and Adele.

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D_Towne @davidtowne23

4 years ago

I know they’re not approved by the FDA, but preworkouts should have a label saying “do not combine with headlines”

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D_Towne @davidtowne23

4 years ago

See you in 9 months when L.A. hospitals are flooded with patients—this time giving birth #SuperBowlLVI

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D_Towne @davidtowne23

4 years ago

Today I assembled a bookcase so I won’t be moving anytime soon.

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D_Towne @davidtowne23

4 years ago

Yes, this is the year. This is the year I take all the witty notes in my phone and tweet them *deletes all notes and throws phone off balcony*

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D_Towne @davidtowne23

4 years ago

#FF10 title suggestion: “This One Goes Up To 11.” Also there’s probably gonna be actual #timetravel but just #speculating. #takeallmymoney #justtakeit deadline.com/2021/08/fast-a…

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D_Towne @davidtowne23

4 years ago

I just wrote #clout in a text to my mom. She clearly failed.

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D_Towne @davidtowne23

4 years ago

6 months after a Coldplay song’s released: 😒 6 years after a Coldplay song’s released: 🕺

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Los Angeles Times @latimes

5 years ago

Breaking: The Los Angeles County Department of Public Health will make the county’s entire homeless population eligible for vaccines starting Monday. latimes.com/homeless-housi…

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D_Towne @davidtowne23

5 years ago

Whoever came up with “there’s more than one way to skin a cat” is a psychopath.

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D_Towne @davidtowne23

5 years ago

🙌 washingtonpost.com/climate-enviro…

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State capitols are among the next possible targets. With the rise of demonstrating we saw beginning with BLM this summer, surely more people will feel the call to activism, but it seems like complying with stay-at-home might be safer in more ways than one washingtonpost.com/technology/202…