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Pet Bird @derp_ex_machina

I love life and life loves me. Joined December 2016
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  • Followers
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  • Following
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Pet Bird @derp_ex_machina

9 years ago

Do you ever eat carrots and then wonder if it was worth the effort?

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Pet Bird @derp_ex_machina

9 years ago

An Open Letter to Everyone Writing and Sharing Open Letters on Social Media: Can we just maybe not.  Sincerely, Probably Most People

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Pet Bird @derp_ex_machina

9 years ago

Has anyone else been getting Hamilton and Hamlet mixed up? Just me, okay

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Pet Bird @derp_ex_machina

9 years ago

I found this necklace in my stuff and I can't tell if it's a lord of the rings charm or a saint medal and so I can't throw it away

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Pet Bird @derp_ex_machina

9 years ago

@MarieLoerzel @ProudFFAalumni nachos

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Pet Bird @derp_ex_machina

9 years ago

Whenever I spend money on my car or any other necessities I'm always like well that was a waste

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Pet Bird @derp_ex_machina

9 years ago

My defroster is a mystery to me. I just push all the buttons on my dash until the windshield clears up or I crash into something/someone

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Pet Bird @derp_ex_machina

9 years ago

"I'm feeling like a man right now."

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Pet Bird @derp_ex_machina

9 years ago

@meglambert32 :(

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Pet Bird @derp_ex_machina

9 years ago

Just found a bunch of stamps so today was a success

Pet Bird retweeted
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Luke @Luke_R99

9 years ago

If your life is falling apart, one piece of duct tape over your mouth should hold it together.

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Pet Bird @derp_ex_machina

9 years ago

Whenever I drink out of public drinking fountain I think: "I wonder how many people have peed in this?" But so far it hasn't stopped me.

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Pet Bird @derp_ex_machina

9 years ago

Accidentally just put all of my recycling into the garbage aka just killed some sea turtles I am so sorry love you Crush

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Pet Bird @derp_ex_machina

9 years ago

I really don't like the weird pieces of chicken.

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Pet Bird @derp_ex_machina

9 years ago

Binge watching the fireplace on Netflix. #lit

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Pet Bird @derp_ex_machina

9 years ago

Why don't they make bobby pins disposable because then we could lose them without feeling regret. Also keys. And phones. And cars

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Pet Bird @derp_ex_machina

9 years ago

If I go hiking by myself will I die? Jk of course I will. #nature #adventure

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Pet Bird @derp_ex_machina

9 years ago

Four years ago, I fell off a treadmill. I still think about it sometimes.

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Pet Bird @derp_ex_machina

9 years ago

I am not an egg.

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