Django Gold @django
comedic entity // formerly for Colbert, the Onion // watch BAG OF TRICKS, link below linktr.ee/djangoindustri… New York, NY Joined July 2011-
Tweets13K
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Followers19K
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Following1K
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Likes18K
dying of preventable disease, asking the CVS clerk to please unlock the bed pans
for me it's the American Office, no question
me, 20 years from now: “dental plan!” my buddy: haha, “Lisa needs braces” Taskrabbit GigAssist enforcer droid: back to work, citizen
winter, spring, then summer, then fall again - ugh, it never ends
wild how there are multiple standing armies currently deployed in our capital and the DNC still feels okay about sending me a text asking for $30
your body actually needs a bunch of Doritos before you go to bed
onanism is a pretty fancy word for what I’m doing in my car right now
watching Andor, didn’t realize space had so many Irish people
a 32 year-old Rizzler arrested for driving under the influence/assaulting an officer, outside the courthouse he does the pose
telling my buddy I loved his performance in The Summer I Turned Fat and Gay
[defending myself at Nuremberg] first off, I'm a girl dad
oh fuck, does anyone know how to remove 80 gallons of dog jizz from a Cracker Barrel sprinkler system?
Trump 2028: we must violently sterilize the homeless Newsom 2028: my advisors are looking into humane, green-friendly methods of sterilizing the homeless
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𝗚𝗼𝗿𝗴𝗲 ... @gorge_gary
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gianmarco @GianmarcoSoresi
154K Followers 7K Following “you miss 100% of the shots you take” -my high school basketball coach
Mike Scollins @mikescollins
34K Followers 1K Following From Marshfield MA. Writer for Late Night with Seth Meyers. Love horror movies. Usually have to pee. He/Him
James Austin Johnson @JAJCenter
105K Followers 2K Following @nbcsnl. On tour this summer, tickets on sale now at james austin johnson dot com 👇
Tommy McNamara @TommyMcNam
7K Followers 2K Following watch my special SMOLDERING here for free: https://t.co/zWfmFpuqlc
eli yudin @eliyudin
24K Followers 2K Following I don’t really use this site anymore but my Instagram is yahootoolbar and my bsky is eliyudin and I stream on twitch at pig_dog
Steven Castillo @STEEEZUSCHRIST
19K Followers 3K Following cartoon network’s “comics to watch,” @nbcsnl, just for laughs
Ariel Dumas @ArielDumas
62K Followers 7K Following IG: @ arieldumaspubicaccount - Head Writer and Supervising Producer for @colbertlateshow
Dan Licata @danlicatasucks
22K Followers 964 Following stand-up comedian (Seth Meyers), writer (SNL, Joe Pera Talks With You). full special FOR THE BOYS now on YouTube. Chicago, Minneapolis 🎟️⬇️
Sean O’Connor @seanoconnz
42K Followers 3K Following Comedian. Writer. Mets fan. SOLAR OPPOSITES, NORM MACDONALD LIVE, and a ton of other shows.
J.P. McDade @jp_mcdade
10K Followers 746 Following Comedian. Debut special “JP McDade: In Brooklyn” on YouTube now.
Asher Perlman @asherperlman
27K Followers 2K Following Cartoonist, The New Yorker. Writer, The Late Show. 🙂↕️
Diego Lopez @thisdiegolopez
22K Followers 563 Following • mma coach/bjj black belt • @alittletimepod • @nihilift
Allen Strickland Will... @TotallyAllen
20K Followers 3K Following CONAN 2x. Adult Swim. Full Comedy Central special The Intellectual Shocker on YouTube. Order or stream Ran Through below. FMA w/ ASW pod every week-ish.
Zach Zimmerman @zzdoublezz
19K Followers 2K Following ~ beloved comedian ~ watch my special and catch me on tour:
John Levenstein @johnlevenstein
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Brian Stack @BrianStack153
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Sentient Girl @marg0tenenbaum
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–* neesh @losingmyego
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