A Southern Man @faultymoonpie

https://t.co/L1gIwgHGIT Joined January 2012

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A Southern Man @faultymoonpie

3 hours ago

When AI tries to take over y’all will be appreciating the electricians because we can disconnect as well as connect.

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If the sky That we look upon Should tumble and fall Or the mountains Should crumble to the sea I won't cry I won't cry No I won't shed a tear Just as long As you stand Stand by me Thank you Ben E King.

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A Southern Man @faultymoonpie

7 hours ago

Random Saturday question. What’s your favorite salad dressing?

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A Southern Man @faultymoonpie

11 hours ago

Well shit, sympathy needed. I’m coming down with a man cold. I’ll gladly bear it though to protect the woman from experiencing such momentous sickness that would completely disable them if they survived it at all. Sighhhhhhh.

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Nikki Roxx @NikkiRoxx141265

a day ago

I made the cum noise twice today, when I bent down and stood back up.

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Outlaw Prophet @DerekPage672306

a day ago

You'd be surprised just how far good manners will carry you in this world

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尺乇乃乇ccﾑ @cheeky__gal

3 weeks ago

Walmart shrimp had me in the checkout line singing “Radioactive, Radioactive.”

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尺乇乃乇ccﾑ @cheeky__gal

3 weeks ago

Every time life feels unmanageable, I ask: What would Stevie Nicks do? And the answer is always twirl harder.

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尺乇乃乇ccﾑ @cheeky__gal

3 weeks ago

As a kid, I thought Skeletor was terrifying. As an adult, I realize he was just exhausted, hungry, and surrounded by fools.

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尺乇乃乇ccﾑ @cheeky__gal

2 weeks ago

“Short Circuit” made me believe robots could be my best friend. Turns out it was just prepping me for my attachment to my phone.

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尺乇乃乇ccﾑ @cheeky__gal

2 days ago

The Proclaimers promised 1,000 miles for love. Honestly, that sounds exhausting.

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尺乇乃乇ccﾑ @cheeky__gal

a day ago

I relate to Goldilocks. I’m always tired, always hungry, and always in places I shouldn’t be.

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A Southern Man @faultymoonpie

a day ago

If you’re going to love anything or anybody it’s going to hurt sometimes. Them’s the rules.

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A Southern Man @faultymoonpie

a day ago

You know Fridays are tricky. A good one is just amazing but a bad one is best endured on a barstool where no one knows your name or in the bed under the covers with the cute animal of your choice.

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A Southern Man @faultymoonpie

a day ago

I can go from a nice guy to an asshole after witnessing two shitty traffic moves.

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A Southern Man @faultymoonpie

2 days ago

The true understanding of profane language begins when you round the tail end of a truck in a hurry and discovered the trailer hitch with your shin.

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A Southern Man @faultymoonpie

2 days ago

Friday thought, In my late teens I worked with several good carpenters and they gave me great advice on using power tools and how to measure and cut things that fit. Of course it usually started with “are you stupid” or “how did you not know this” so I also got a thick skin.