Fix My Life Weekly @fmlweekly

FML Weekly Wise Words "Be positive." ~ a proton #MondayMotivation #Mondayvibes #FixMyLife #FML

FML Weekly Wise Words "Well done is better than medium. Come at me." ~ Benjamin Franklin #MondayMotivation #Mondayvibes #FixMyLife #FML

FML Weekly Wise Words: "..." ~ Marcel Marceau #Mondayvibes #Mondayvibes #FixMyLife #FML

How to make the perfect motivational playlist: Find a delivery system to deliver your soundtrack to you and your environment. There are a few ways to do this. Have a stereo in every room. Hire a covers only mariachi band. Once you decide, you're halfway there! #MondayMotivation

How to make the perfect motivational playlist: Go through all the music you own and jot down how they make you feel. Make time for this! Quit your job, order delivery, ignore your cats yowling from the closet. Got your list? You're halfway there! #MondayMotivation #Caturday

You suck. But that's okay! Being on the bottom rung of the awesomeness ladder is the best! If you suck at something no one asks you to do it! Suck at doing the dishes? They don't get you to do it! Even better, if you DO it even decently you are a freaking hero! #MondayMotivation

Think of your wallet as your stomach. If you don't watch what you eat, your wallet will expand and become engorged with all kinds of money and be really gross. Follow? Now think of that fat as debt and ignore all the stuff about your stomach. #SundayBrunch #unpopularopinion

FML Weekly Wise Words: "Hang in there." ~ some cat #Caturday #CaturdayMood

FML Weekly Wise Words: "Yup, I'm possessed by a demon, so you can't break up with me." ~ an ex-girlfriend

Apples & Other Helpful Fruits An Apple a Day Keeps the Doctor Away A Banana a Day Keeps the Mechanic Away An Orange a Day Keeps the Boogeyman Away A Strawberry a Day Keeps the President Away A Grapefruit a Day Keeps the Racist Away A Tomato a Day Keeps Pedantic Assholes Away

FML Weekly Wise Words: "Life is busy. Please leave a message after the tone, mate." ~ John Lennon, probably

FML Weekly Wise Words: "Life is not a problem to be solved, it is just a stupid board game. The cop isn't fair and ruins the game, is what I'm saying." ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Hangover Cure 1) 2 C brown sugar 2) 1/2 C strong ground coffee 3) 4 cubes cheddar cheese 4) 2 whole onions, halved 5) Minced garlic 6) Cumin, sage, thyme, & white pepper 7) Worcestershire sauce 8) Shoe polish 9) 1 doz eggs, yolks only 10) 7 packs Taco Bell Fire sauce 11) handsaw

FML Weekly Wise Words "You only use 33% of your brain." ~ so many movies, it is really dumb

FML Weekly Wise Words: "Be yourself; except for you, Josh. Please be someone else." ~ Oscar Wilde

FML Weekly Wise Words: "When one door closes, another opens - as long as they are attached by some twine." ~ Alexander Graham Bell

FML Weekly Wise Words: "The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to turn around suddenly, cross your arms, and fall backwards to see if they'll catch you." ~ Ernest Hemingway

FML Weekly Wise Words: "Listen like no one's singing, hurt like you've never been loved, watch like nobody's dancing, and earth like it's live on heaven." ~ A very confused Samuel Clemens

FML Weekly Wise Words: "Damn it, son of a bitch, damn nail." ~ My dad, even though my mom swears he never swears

FML Weekly Wise Words: "Rife is rike a rox of rocolates! Ruh-roh!" ~ Scooby-Doo