performative male @foolsg0ld___

dad joke connoisseur powered by GMOs, micro plastics and Iced coffe the void Joined January 2013

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performative male @foolsg0ld___

3 weeks ago

Going garbanzo on her bean until that chick pees

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performative male @foolsg0ld___

4 weeks ago

Did a pirouette as I slipped her love letter into the drop box, call that a performative mail

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performative male @foolsg0ld___

4 weeks ago

Might attend an improve class/session tomorrow just to confirm that I am indeed a talenless hack and to silence the "what if" feeling lingering in the back of my head, so I can focus all my energy on being a top-tier cog at my middling soul-flattening joy-siphoning day job.

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performative male @foolsg0ld___

a month ago

Vanilla coke implies the existence of bdsm coke.

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performative male @foolsg0ld___

a month ago

People in the Bay were whining that it "didn't feel like summer" and that it was "too cold", so Mother Nature said bet and turned the heat up to the point that walking outside feels like getting suplexed by the sun on the devils front lawn.

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performative male @foolsg0ld___

a month ago

Was up last night wondering if am really just an Eldritch horror or nightmarish cryptid that got paced in a human body, which would ultimately explain my social awkwardness and general badness at human experience.

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performative male @foolsg0ld___

a month ago

I sometimes wonder if drinking more water will solve my problems then realize that the answer is no, but it will at least ensure my body functions properly and my skin glows while I wait for the slow creep of existential dread to consume me.

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performative male @foolsg0ld___

3 months ago

I think we should all get on board with putting soup in flasks instead of alcohol. Like, imagine the simultaneous shock and amazement you'd feel at a party when someone slides you a flask, but instead of cognac, tequila or vodka, you get a sip of savory tomatoe bisque lol.

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performative male @foolsg0ld___

7 months ago

If I was a stud, my name across all social media platforms would be "The $trap $linging $lasher"

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performative male @foolsg0ld___

10 months ago

GSW @ OKC 2016 where Steph hit the logo game winner in OT.

Calenta @NBAPaint1

10 months ago

GSW @ OKC 2016 where Steph hit the logo game winner in OT.

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performative male @foolsg0ld___

10 months ago

Almost every woman in Dandadan to Okarun indirectly at some point

ja-hamon 🪓 @hoodheresies07

10 months ago

Almost every woman in Dandadan to Okarun indirectly at some point

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performative male @foolsg0ld___

10 months ago

Streets might not like this, but I'm going F,B,G,I and L

Red ❤️‍🔥 @RedLi8ning11

10 months ago

Streets might not like this, but I'm going F,B,G,I and L

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performative male @foolsg0ld___

10 months ago

How do you score on this team and, conversely, how could you stop them from scoring?

Legion Hoops @LegionHoops

10 months ago

How do you score on this team and, conversely, how could you stop them from scoring?

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performative male @foolsg0ld___

10 months ago

Evil Eye/Great Snake arc gonna go crazy when it gets animated

Clockster 🍉 CR: One Piece @Clockster2

10 months ago

Evil Eye/Great Snake arc gonna go crazy when it gets animated

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performative male @foolsg0ld___

10 months ago

Even if I wasn't a Warrior fan, based on ratings, I'd have to say Steph.

Dom2K 🎅🎇 @Dom_2k

10 months ago

Even if I wasn't a Warrior fan, based on ratings, I'd have to say Steph.

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performative male @foolsg0ld___

10 months ago

Just finished The Penguin, and it is probably one of the most well-executed pieces of TV I've seen in a while. In an era where many shows leave audiences hanging with their inability to deliver a satisfying conclusion, Reeves and co managed to stick the landing perfectly.