Alex @funkmasteralexx

I’m just a baby standing on another baby trying to convince you to sell me alcohol Joined March 2009

Tweets

22K
Followers

388
Following

365
Likes

25K

Red-Green Alliance @RedGreenBC

2 years ago

The bad part of getting older is that you become an NPC, the good part is that being an NPC rocks. Nothing like walking down the street with a thought bubble that's just a sandwich you're looking forward to. Protagonism is best left to teens and the insane

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Alex @funkmasteralexx

2 years ago

“What are you watching?” “A tik tok comparing Arrested Development to Succession….but I’ve never seen Succession. So I’m just watching a bunch clips from Arrested Development.”

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Benjamin Partridge @benpartridge

2 years ago

Just ordered in a restaurant in Bulgaria and the waiter looked at me with real gravity and said "sir, you must know that this doesn't come with any sort of potato". I've never felt truly seen and supported like that before. Weeping.

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Pierre Escargot @Sammxney

2 years ago

The LiB season 4 cast sitting next to Nick and Vanessa Lachey while Netflix tries to figure out how to actually broadcast a live #LoveIsBlindLIVE

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@goth @goth600

3 years ago

There is a giant orb in the sky that you are not allowed to make direct eye contact with and you don’t question that?

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LAVISH @msalexandriae

3 years ago

Little do my friends know they're healing me everytime we hangout.

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Kylie Brakeman @deadeyebrakeman

3 years ago

How soon before BeReal is used as an alibi in a court of law

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Respectful Memes @RespectfulMemes

3 years ago

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♓️ @ravishingdreka

3 years ago

Snoring is a red flag 🚩🚩🚩🚩 because why you can’t breathe? You stuffed with lies!

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double foot amputee colonel sanders @thisisnefertiti

3 years ago

I love the way British people use the term babe, I’m about to appropriate

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alexa @alexadoingstuff

3 years ago

My boyfriend makes my life infinitely more interesting and exciting and in exchange I remind him to drink water

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Alex @funkmasteralexx

3 years ago

I forgot I’m private 🥲

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Alex @funkmasteralexx

3 years ago

#TeamMonet #TeamJinkx #TeamJaida #TeamRaja #AllStars7 🥳

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cc @coolado_

3 years ago

apple dropping the 🫡 emoji permanently changed the trajectory of my life

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Alex @funkmasteralexx

3 years ago

Just watched #FireIslandMovie. The way I didn’t realize it was a pride and prejudice adaptation until halfway through lol. But truly an instant classic. 💞🌟🌷🍄