garrett🪺 @garit_colinz

hateful musings of the chillest boy you know Joined January 2024

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garrett🪺 @garit_colinz

a year ago

feel like emma bovary every time I spend money

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popular loner🚶🏼‍♀️🤷‍♀️ @milkyy_tweets

a year ago

god forbid a man has a morning routine

TMZ @TMZ

a year ago

god forbid a man has a morning routine

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garrett🪺 @garit_colinz

a year ago

it's me, my sambas, and my copy of war and peace against the world this summer 😸

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Ray W, Flippa @FlippaRay

a year ago

CODE GREEN. I REPEAT WE HAVE A CODE GREEN. EVERYTHING IS GOING QUITE SWIMMINGLY. NOTHING IS HAPPENING, REALLY.

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garrett🪺 @garit_colinz

2 years ago

nerd moment over...for now

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garrett🪺 @garit_colinz

2 years ago

open.spotify.com/album/0sm6yo5a… ykw while we're on the subject put some respect on The Light in the Piazza. most gorgeous score of the 21st century lowkey (high key)

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garrett🪺 @garit_colinz

2 years ago

youtube.com/watch?v=NKaAER… criminally underviewed. she heard 'take five' and thought they said 'change lives.' think about this all the time.

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garrett🪺 @garit_colinz

2 years ago

put some respect on my girl Christine's name. literally mother. i fw her heavy. she's so crazy!!! Love her!

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garrett🪺 @garit_colinz

2 years ago

his weed? i roll that. his hand? i hold that. his back? i got that. his wife? i am that. my role? i play that. we're happy, they hate that.

Pop Crave @PopCrave

2 years ago

his weed? i roll that. his hand? i hold that. his back? i got that. his wife? i am that. my role? i play that. we're happy, they hate that.

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ppl who really give too much of a fuck ab their half birthday piss me off. why don't you try giving that much of a fuck ab the job search? like lmk when you get a full time job with benefits, then we can talk ab celebrating.

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garrett🪺 @garit_colinz

2 years ago

"the people's princess" this "the people's princess" that. Diana wouldn't even fw u. not even a little. i said DIANA WOUDLN'T EVEN FW U. NOT EVEN A LITTLE.

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garrett🪺 @garit_colinz

2 years ago

If I get hit by a car and die and it's not a bus or a mack truck or something...that's so embarrassing. Like I might as well have died on the toilet or something. Imagine you family having to tell ppl you got hit by a fucking prius.

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garrett🪺 @garit_colinz

2 years ago

I hope this annoying mf got poached. she needs to pay for her crimes.

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garrett🪺 @garit_colinz

2 years ago

the item of highest priority on my 2024 bucket list is to find evidence supporting the fact that stuart the minion shot JFK. 2nd is to continue to be the most chill, pretty, smart, kind, relatable, and humble boy in the world.

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garrett🪺 @garit_colinz

2 years ago

going to an nyc bagel shop and asking them if the reason their bagels taste so good is because they use Jacob Elordi bathwater

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garrett🪺 @garit_colinz

2 years ago

analyzing Jacob Elordi bathwater as my water sample for class and noticing 'contaminants' include squirt, testosterone, sweat, australia, and white boy swag

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garrett🪺 @garit_colinz

2 years ago

wanna be on the masked singer so bad just to confuse the judges. like they are sweating bullets trying to figure out who I am and when i'm finally unveiled they pretend so hard to know who I am to save face. then i'm made president of the united states.