ham @hambug19

BIG MOON 👁️ 👄 👁️

neighborhood beast greets me when I come home from the lake

An alcoholic morning show host becoming Secretary of War is some Kurt Vonnegut shit

I don’t understand why women buy a depreciating asset (designer handbag) when they can just invest that money into the market. Congratulations, you seem to have $10k + of disposable income. Use it to make even more money.

If your bday is in September, you are getting these little guys.

I stayed home along in small increments starting when I was 9 and everyone I tell this to thinks I’m crazy. My neighbors would call or come in and check on me it wasn’t that big of a deal?

Sometimes I want to tell the blue jays to take it down a notch but then I remember they eat bugs.

He’s in his mid thirties but his Garmin age is 20. Who’s the real winner here? Everyone.

Coworker told me I need to come into the office more because when I’m not there it’s no fun. Yeah no DUH.

A man has told me to lower my expectations. I’m so excited to listen to his unsolicited advice and do it!

No I will not pay a monthly subscription for Netflix. Yes I will pay a monthly subscription to read your writing.

I’ve been having nightmares. The seasons are changing.

Looking life in the eye and saying, “You’re a lot shorter in person.”