whimsical stud @harker_john
founder of the ora-gyanl jew crew my parents' house Joined August 2012-
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Followers58
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Following241
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Likes71
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[Girl twirling her hair in the taxi home] "I wouldn't normally do this on a 1st date but- *morphs into a seagull & starts going fuckin nuts*
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[Jaden and Willow visit Santa] Santa: What do you kids want for Christmas? Willow: Owl Beagle hybrids Jaden: To eat oatmeal in the desert
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I don't care about 2 cops getting killed just like I didn't care about 2 black guys getting killed because I'm an insensitive fucking prick.
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Any coat is reversible if you don't give a fuck.
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Young lady, I'm old enough to be your dad's creepy high school friend with a pony tail who never married and works at the skating rink.
whimsical stud retweeted
"Well well well, if it isn't the guy that reeks of weed & plays on his phone the entire time" What people say when I walk into Church.
One time I caught a squirrel and named it Steve
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*Curtsies after ordering at Burger King*
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SCROOGE: You there, boy, what day is it? BOY: Have you ever heard of a calendar you mean old fuck
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"Anything else I should know about you?" *taps my I LOVE HATERS shirt* "Anything pertinent to the job?" *taps I FUCK ON THE FIRST DATE hat*
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We've forgotten the true meaning of Cyber Monday: the birth of Cyber Jesus.
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If Jesus had been killed by a turkey today would be Easter.
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Global warming isn't real because I was cold today! Also great news: World hunger is over because I just ate.
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How the hell do they get the peanuts inside of those M&Ms?
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[loudly so the girl sat on the next table can hear] OH GOSH MY DICK IS SO BIG I DON'T THINK I CAN WRITE ANYMORE POETRY POEMS.
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*skateboards up to teens* Hello fellow cool kids. Did you know your moms have had sex? *kickflips so hard I fly into the sun*
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Deep down Charles Manson probably even thinks his new wife is absolutely fucking crazy.
whimsical stud retweeted
Hedgehogs would seem far less adorable if they had more relevant names like 'Stabbyrabbit' or 'Weaponrat'
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