Alexis F @howdylexx

guys, my favorite superhero, Ozzy Osbourne, died the day before my birthday and I just found out #Batman

guys, a shitty bloody mary is always better than a good water.

guys, i can’t wait for my favorite day of the year (july) !!!!!!

guys, are you allowed to turn left on right on red at stoplights

Guys, for all of you who don’t know ‘what you are’ after Trump declared there’s only two genders, just figure out if the only things you know how to do are eat hot chip, twerk, charge your phone, be bisexual, and lie.

guys, I think only microwaves could do that.

guys, whoever has my voodoo doll can you either burn it or stroke it a lil. surprise me.

guys, don’t hate U.S cause you ain’t U.S

guys, grimace and Britney Spears share the same birthday

guys, wait. we should call the normal sized cans that. i’m starting a revolution.

Alexis F @howdylexx

2 years ago

guys, wait. we should call the normal sized cans that. i’m starting a revolution.

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guys, why do they call it a “tall boy” and not a “medium-sized man”

guys, i feel so bad for grimace #happybirthdaygrimace

guys, my absolute favorite day of the entire year is july

guys, wake up it’s the first of the month

guys, i think my only red flag is that i’m too good to be true

guys, starbucks doesn’t have their ham and Swiss croissant today and i’m just like the saddest i’ve ever been

guys, instead of playing “never have i ever”, they’re playing “never will i ever again”. you know who i’m talking about.

guys, how come when i deleted snapchat for three weeks, nobody texted me asking how I was doing but now a submarine is missing for a day and the entire world is trying to contact it.

me looking for da little submarine guy (but more importantly tanning bc I’d rather be dead than pale)

guys, i was watching tiktoks in the shower about the submarine for the past hour and forgot i had blue shampoo in my dry hair this whole time. i’m so upset i look like the ocean. pretty sure the submarine is in my hair but pls help me first.