Claudio Squarcella @hyperboreans
engineering @sysdig claudiosquarcella.com Rome, Lazio Joined February 2008-
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Followers284
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Following258
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Claudio Squarcella retweeted
I have to spend Christmas with my husband's family. They insist on using milk in recipes despite knowing that I can't digest lactose as I'm Chinese. So, this year, I'm not going to take any Lactaid. I predict massive farts and no-one objecting when I suggest leaving early.
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Claudio Squarcella retweeted
I sent a Christmas card to my Nanna recently, and I wrote a very heartfelt message about the memories of Christmas with her as a child. She sent me a text when she recieved it to say that it made her day and that she was crying tears of joy. The whole thing was written by AI.
Claudio Squarcella retweeted
As a 5ft3 guy I've always been the butt of jokes by mates and other men. What they don't know is that the past 3 years I've made nearly £500k selling pics and videos of my smallish feet on OF to guys who think they are a woman's. My wife finds it hilarious.
Claudio Squarcella retweeted
I tried to drive within the speed limit at all times however my main motivation for this is not because that's the law. It's simply because I like to see the faces of the irate drivers behind me getting all annoyed because I've made them slow down to the speed limit.
Claudio Squarcella retweeted
Coming out of my cave and I’m doing just fine.
Claudio Squarcella retweeted
I add songs that I think my dad would like to a Spotify playlist. He died 8 years ago but every so often I play it when I'm driving alone, and I talk to him about them. It feels we're listening together. I miss him every day. Love you dad.
Claudio Squarcella retweeted
I miss my secretary, who retired a few years ago, not because she was great at her job but her name was Helen Waite. I loved telling people who wanted to complain about something to "go to Helen Waite".
Claudio Squarcella retweeted
Still laughing about the time a computer scientist who had his bike stolen tried to explain binary search to a cop
Claudio Squarcella retweeted
Claudio Squarcella retweeted
Stamane in metro una ragazza ha le stringhe di una scarpa pericolosamente slacciate. Le dico: "scusi faccia attenzione la sua scarpa è slacciata" E lei: "eh? Fatti i fatti tuoi no?" e scappa in avanti. Dopo due minuti inciampa sui lacci e si cappotta scendendo dalla scala…
Claudio Squarcella retweeted
Pensa gli stranieri, a spiegarglielo.
Claudio Squarcella retweeted
L’internet è popolato anche da geni. #SystemOfaGianni
Claudio Squarcella retweeted
A mailman who looked suspiciously like my 8-year-old put this in my mailbox this morning
Claudio Squarcella retweeted
I've developed a program that checks my Facebook each day and automatically sends "Happy Birthday" posts. I run it on a cloud service that's so cheap that I've loaded it with enough credit for it to run autonomously for ten years. I'm worried it'll keep going after I die.
Claudio Squarcella retweeted
When you forget the word for trousers but the deadline is looming
Claudio Squarcella retweeted
When I was about 10 me & my mates chipped in a quid each to hire a video. Only, one mate only had 50p so halfway through the film we kicked him out the house as he'd had his monies worth. The memory of him trying to watch it through netted curtains still makes me laugh.
Claudio Squarcella retweeted
Which one of you incompetent f*%<ing m0r9ns tweeted a picture of Crimea as part of Ukraine??!!??
Claudio Squarcella retweeted
If I have to call a company's customer care with a problem, I usually ask them to hang on for a sec, while I pretend I've been interrupted, I then proceed to whisper "I'm on a Mystery Shopping call". They think I'm checking their service, and I always get 110% from that person
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