Illuminated Wonder @illuminatedwndr
S U B S T A N C E x.com/search?q=from%… California, USA Joined February 2009-
Tweets42K
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Followers7K
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Following1K
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Likes50K
What do you mean ur not gonna agree to adopt all of my economic, religious & geopolitical beliefs after 2 days of meeting u on the internet?
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I see you there; holding out. Waiting for something you think you deserve, but will never get
I'll be your master and your slave. You just sit there and look pretty.
Illuminated Wonder retweeted
I heard what you said, motherfucker! And to be honest, I'm kinda turned on rn
Illuminated Wonder retweeted
Congratulate you?? HAHAHA You just gave birth to a crying, slobbering mess that shits itself. Why the fuck would I congratulate you??
Illuminated Wonder retweeted
*Reads your bio *Throws up in mouth
Illuminated Wonder retweeted
I love when people use the phrase, "If you play your cards right" Haha Bitch, cards are for pussies! I play Russian roulette, motherfucker!
Illuminated Wonder retweeted
At least hangovers don't snore and poke you in your lower back with their tiny boners while you're trying to sleep
Illuminated Wonder retweeted
Talking to people before 10am is like being the lead actress in a Japanese monster movie
Illuminated Wonder retweeted
If I catch you making a duck face while I'm blowing you, I'm going to vomit through my nose on your dick shaft
Illuminated Wonder retweeted
Please, I don't want to hear your bullshit! Everyone has choices! Like me right now. I'm choosing to eat the bottom of my cupcake first
Illuminated Wonder retweeted
The girl at Starbucks just said "Hashtag, Good Morning" so I'm pretty sure you're gonna see me on America's Most Wanted for a kidnap/murder
Illuminated Wonder retweeted
GIVE ME CARBS, OR GIVE ME DEATH
Illuminated Wonder retweeted
I like wearing loose fitting jeans so I can drop used cupcake wrappers down my pant leg during meetings without anyone knowing
Illuminated Wonder retweeted
Me arguing back and making threats is nothing. However, if I'm silent, take cover motherfucker!
Illuminated Wonder retweeted
When they have that magic dick and you keep going back THAT!
Illuminated Wonder retweeted
*Finally gets out of emotionally damaging, verbally abusive relationship* *Repeats cycle*
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