i want advice from people that aren’t afraid to go out by themselves like i want to start going places alone like cafes and bookstores and whatever but anxiety says no. please tell me how you do it if you do

woww i obviously am not able to reply to everybody that said something to this but THANK YOU FOR ALL OF THESE IDEAS AND ADVICE!!! 🫶🏼i’m reading all of them! kinda scared bc i tweeted about being anxious and then this blew up for all to see but i guess exposure therapy works

@imnoloon You think people are watching you, judging you. They're not. Everyone's too distracted by their own lives, their own anxieties, their own screens. You're just another background character in their story. The moment you realize that, the easier it gets.

@imnoloon Start by going to a movie alone. The setting itself is a good introduction to being independent. It’s dark, everyone is watching the movie and you specifically get used to being alone. From there branch out.

@imnoloon Literally, the only advice is to just do it. It’ll be uncomfy for you but literally no one else will notice and you’ll end up having fun and enjoying alone time and it’ll just keep getting easier.

@imnoloon Make goals for yourself, for example, find a specific book at a bookstore or a book written by someone from Greece or smth, rank the best matcha in your area coffee shops, make small talk with 2 people. It's harder to get anxious when you're focused on an objective

@imnoloon You and everyone you know won't be here in 100 years (or less). Go do what you want.

@imnoloon Just realize that literally no one there gives a rip about you, nor would they if you were with someone. Literally, no one cares. They are busy living their own lives

@imnoloon As an only child and introvert, I love going out by myself for meals, movies, etc. Always bring a book and headphones. Don’t let them sit you at a shitty table just because you’re by yourself.

@imnoloon I tell myself it’s a movie and I play a socially adaptive person who deserved a little treat.

@imnoloon just do it. I was scared of doing things alone, but i enjoy it too much these days. I travel solo, go to cafes solo, eats solo. Solo is the new relationship cos if you dont date yourself, who will?

@imnoloon I love doing stuff alone. I’m not sure what the anxiety is telling your to hold you back but if it’s that other people are going to wonder why you’re alone or cast judgement just know that most people are secretly thinking “damn I’m jealous of they can do that.”

@imnoloon I love going out by myself. It's a really nice way to enjoy the world without being overstimulated. I also think it's cool when I see someone doing stuff on their own. It's okay to be alone sometimes. Pretend you're in a video game.

@imnoloon Start slow! A low pressured environment, at off peak hours. Sit somewhere you can feel safe and comfortable, like a window. Bring headphones, a water bottle, book, to preoccupy any awkwardness. Try to enjoy your own company and the experience! It’s all a learning curve. ❤️

I strongly believe in exposure therapy, you're going to be uncomfortable but the more you do it you the more you will be comfortable doing it. The hardest part is just going airpods or a good book help once you're there. But ultimately you're just going to have to force yourself to go. Just think of all the things you'll miss out on if you stay within your comfort zone.

@imnoloon headphones. pretend nobody else is in the scene but you

@imnoloon As someone that has anxiety, I just stopped calling it anxiety and just called it being nervous and that everyone gets nervous but you can overcome it.

@imnoloon rather than thinking people look at me with pity for being alone, i imagine people look at me with an appreciation for the fact that i'm comfortable enough in my own company to be alone. reframing!!! (i also have awful anxiety so i feel you)

@imnoloon i’ll go anywhere by myself on a day to day basis but recently i went to a party alone and it was 10/10! I’ve also gone on a solo trip, but I drove there and didn’t have to fly Once I go on a trip somewhere far on a plane, then I’ll have mastered doing everything by myself

@imnoloon the thing you gotta remember is that no one else is thinking about you ever, everyone is in their own heads. no one is asking "why is that person alone" they're too focused on whatever is going on in their own personal lives. so just do it!! it rules!

@imnoloon i love that you asked this ❤️ for me it’s about not missing out on life. my default is actually going out alone. bringing a book or laptop is the way to go if it’s a cafe or bookstore. taking everything in and being open to conversation if it’s a restaurant or bar. enjoy!

@imnoloon I used to think going places alone meant everyone was staring. Turns out they’re all in their own heads. You’re just a soft mystery holding a coffee. Start small. bring a book. earbuds if needed. Anxiety lies. going alone is power in disguise.

@imnoloon Oh. You just go. Bring a book to read No one else there notices or cares

@imnoloon Wear a super cute outfit, one you’ve been dying to wear. Bring a book, have a podcast. Anything. Also go to restaurants or bars you’re really wanting to try!! Sit at the bar!

@imnoloon i just started valuing my life less it works perfectly

@imnoloon Go to the movies alone first. Go to places designed for people to be there as singles like a bar or bar seating at a restaurant. Take a book to a cafe.

I don’t really get anxious about going places alone, but my friend—who’s a confidence coach—gave a piece of advice I loved: Pretend everyone around you is just a Sim in a game. NPCs. Filler people. They’re not watching you, judging you, or thinking about what you’re doing. They’re the main character in their game, and you’re just background in theirs. Liberating, honestly.

@imnoloon I do this all the time. It began when I got into broadcasting where MSM newsrooms rely on shift workers on a 24 hour rota. Rule No.1: don’t focus on other people’s perceptions of what you’re doing; focus on the thing you’re doing. I’ve just done 11 wks travelling solo & loved it!

@imnoloon tbh you really just gotta realize nobody cares about you being out more than you think about the last time you went to the store estimate how many faces you saw then count how many you vividly remember everybody is caught up in their own world babe so enjoy your own

Cafes - I bring a book Bookstores - there are books!!!! Restaurants - I also bring a book, and sit at the bar, inevitably someone tries to have a conversation there. Main thing you gotta remember is that people are focused on themselves and won't notice you're alone. And you probably won't even be the only alone person there.

@imnoloon You just have to become the perceiver instead of the perceived

@imnoloon plan out where you want to go and the things you want to do while you’re there before hand so you don’t get flustered when you walk in

@imnoloon no one cares about what you’re doing as much as you think they do. i think about taking myself out on dates and how i am worth spending that quality time and effort w myself too. it’s important to build a relationship with yourself and enjoy your existence not attached to others

@imnoloon Ask ChatGPT. “What do you wish humans knew about overcoming anxiety that so few of them understand” Ask if follow up questions about how your own brain works and you’ll start to come up with a plan to overcome it.

@imnoloon I went to see wicked alone as the first movie I ever went to alone…tripped walking to my seat and spilled buttered popcorn all over the guy next to me. Sat for 3 hours next to him 😭😂 It can’t be worse than that girl

@imnoloon I’ve always done this, so I don’t have much advice. But one of the best things about doing things alone is that you can go at your own pace and take your time. Going to the movies alone is one of my favorite things, so when I go with someone, it means something.

@imnoloon When you have anxiety, you mainly focus on yourself, right? (I do— I worry about my movement, what I say, etc). When you’re out on your own, people aren’t analyzing you— they are analyzing themselves. Nobody cares… in a good and liberating way.