incorrect taz quotes @incorrectaz
they probably said these things in another timeline ic: jovviaan Joined April 2018-
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taako: planning on killing myself tomorrow, if anyone wants my tv or house plants let me know magnus: please reach out if you need any help. we are always here for you merle: what size tv?
magnus: i haven’t eaten anything since 11 i’m starving taako: damn and you how old now?
lucretia: i’m at a loss for words! taako, narrating: despite being at a loss for words, lucretia lectured me for the next 45 minutes
lup: how was the honeymoon? kravtiz: taako got drunk and tried to set our marriage certificate on fire kravtiz: he said "good luck trying to return me without the receipt"
taako (bored on the starblaster): okay lup. fuck, marry, kill- lup: fuck barry taako: i didn’t even tell you the names
barry: when lup is mad at me i pack all my stuff in a lil red bag on a stick and walk away really slowly until she forgives me
lup: if you play as a girl in video games, have a fascination with feminine clothing, and "wish you were a girl", i have some news for you: an extreme wind warning is in effect for neverwinter, rockport, and goldcliff until 6:00 PM for extremely dangerous hurricane winds
avi: smoking loud with the boys and having a contest to see who can give the tenderest hug
lup: hottest thing a man can be when you first meet him is visibly nervous
angus: i love trains because i get to engage in one of my favorite hobbies: looking. god i love to look
lup: barry too busy yelling about how the baby "shouldn't be in the situation to begin with" instead of celebrating me for an undisputedly great catch
carey (after proposing to killian): she said yes!!! taako: what was the question? carey: will you marry me? taako: ?? no
taako (leaving a review for the fantasy costco): nice, sterile atmosphere. hypnotically caucasian. the healing potions are strikingly overpriced and at the same time very easy to steal: another of god's little tests
taako: why are there little handprints on my things? kravitz: angus, why are there little handprints on taakos things? angus: because i have little hands kravitz (turning back to taako): because he has little hands
taako: walking downhill is so embarrassing like ooo look at me doing a little trot like a stupid fucking horse i’d rather be dead
magnus: if i was getting eaten by a bear i would get a pet in real quick
kravitz (to taako): yes babe, you look gnc af. can we go grocery shopping now?
lucretia: it’s pride month, boys. you know what that means taako: what? do you want us to retrieve like… gay relics?
taako: being alive is great because there are so many different vegetables you can sauté. but then there are also the horrors
taako: milk jugs are perfectly designed; no wasted space. the handle is part of the container and you can see how much liquid is left. genius. i'm thinking of eating the mushroom growing in my front yard whole. if even one person is nice to me today i will kiss them on the lips
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