Megatron @insert_sarcasm_

I feel like people that say they "hate people" actually believe that humanity is inherently good but are constantly let down when their standards are not met

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Megatron @insert_sarcasm_

5 years ago

How am I ever going to find a girlfriend if no one ever turns their god damn camera on in my zoom calls

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Megatron @insert_sarcasm_

5 years ago

I feel like we're all just forgetting that Trump was impeached

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Megatron @insert_sarcasm_

5 years ago

This is a PSA: I think I'm genuinely kind of happy for the first time in awhile and I don't have anyone to tell it to so I'm going to scream it to the Twitter void.

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Megatron @insert_sarcasm_

5 years ago

I have come to hate the phrase piggyback off of that

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Megatron @insert_sarcasm_

5 years ago

That feel when you can't sleep because you're too anxious about getting a false positive on your weekly covid test

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Megatron @insert_sarcasm_

5 years ago

Ok but what if I shaved off all of my hair

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Megatron @insert_sarcasm_

5 years ago

So my main question is why people don't understand that they need to mute themselves on a zoom call!? No one cares about your background noise.

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Megatron @insert_sarcasm_

5 years ago

Can't believe this is my last night sleeping in my bed before moving across the country in a pandemic.

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Rep. Ilhan Omar @Ilhan

5 years ago

Defund ICE. Fund the USPS.

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Megatron @insert_sarcasm_

5 years ago

What if I moved to Canada

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Megatron @insert_sarcasm_

5 years ago

Anxiety during the pandemic is knowing you don't have a fever but being stressed when you get temp checks that your temp suddenly went up 3 degrees in the 30 minutes since you left your house.