mess @jakemess

“He’s bothering all the other kids.” said the teacher. To which the Doctor replied “Have you tried meth?” - abridged childhood Joined September 2010

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mess @jakemess

2 days ago

Dave Grohl sucks because he still doesn’t realize Kurt had God’s mandate and all he is, is a pagan side character.

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If I had a Tesla and it drove me places there is a zero percent chance I clock your wrapped vehicle. If that abomination is in front of my neighbor’s house I’m also not going to remember you because that’s gaudy. You clearly have no taste.

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mess @jakemess

3 weeks ago

Imagine wrapping a fleet of cars not realizing everyone driving is either terrified and locked in to the road or on their phone 🤡

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mess @jakemess

4 weeks ago

Running a business is hard because it’s a constant battle of entropy. You have to control the disorder. But if you get too good at managing where you’re at you will get comfortable and that will swallow you whole. You must keep choosing to seek discomfort.

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cool texas timothy @dreadconquest

a month ago

guy that was just on epstein's island for the zipline

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mess @jakemess

2 months ago

What the heck is in this Celsius??

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Shane Cashman @ShaneCashman

2 months ago

I believe the IRS is days away from having a nuclear weapon.

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mess @jakemess

3 months ago

Trying not to cry at an airport. #YesCers

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Cameron Hardin @WeathermanCam_

3 months ago

Congrats OKC. It took a key injury from your opponents in every series you played and getting every single call from the refs for 2 months straight. You deserve this. Go celebrate

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NBA on ESPN @ESPNNBA

3 months ago

This team runs DEEP 👏

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mess @jakemess

3 months ago

All no pfp no follower dorks sure love basketball

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mess @jakemess

3 months ago

the Celtics were / are a great team and the only thing people can say after their finals victory is “Tatum has no aura” Who cares? They played great ball and won the finals. Why does it have to be about one dude. It’s a team sport.

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mess @jakemess

3 months ago

The majority of NBA fans hate basketball and don’t understand it as a sport. NPCs relying on media for their thoughts. It’s so exhausting. Pacers are playing great team ball and winning games despite also having to beat the refs throughout each series. It’s not over and win…

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mess @jakemess

3 months ago

With my kid, he’s throwing a minor fit. 2 or 3 on the 10 point scale. Overheard a grown man say “what a f**king nightmare”. Not sure when men got so weak. Surely this attitude has a lot to do with the decline of people having children at a normal age. To be selfless means…

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mess @jakemess

3 months ago

“Thanks for the numbers, this looks good. Gonna use these to talk down this other guy. I have been leaning towards him because I know him.” You said the quiet part out loud bud, lose my number 😭

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LBark @franzsherbert

4 months ago

Me to my AI-enabled smart fridge in 2038: Do we have any milk left My fridge: Wow. Now that's a question worth exploring. By asking me something like that, you've proven that you're not thinking in ordinary ways—you're dialed in to what's really vital about food. Let's dive in.