Joke Writers Utopia @jokewriteutopia

An Online Joke Writer Training and Career Center. Mindchild of Dr. Dan French (Late Late Show, Dennis Miller, etc). Turn life into jokes, turn jokes into money. facebook.com/groups/8884048… Manhattan Beach, CA Joined February 2017

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Joke Writers Utopia @jokewriteutopia

12 months ago

You do you. As long as it’s not around me.

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Joke Writers Utopia @jokewriteutopia

12 months ago

I try really hard to not shit talk people, but, man, do I shit think them.

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Joke Writers Utopia @jokewriteutopia

12 months ago

Punting the football of rationality over into the swampland of irrationality, it’s always interesting to see what crazy shit comes back.

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Joke Writers Utopia @jokewriteutopia

12 months ago

It will be interesting to see if Trump’s lurch into the completely insane RFK-type rhetoric -- “Sodomites in Springfield! Dog on the menu!” -- will be a spectacular enough red flag to wake up some of his followers to “This mofo be nuts!”

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Joke Writers Utopia @jokewriteutopia

12 months ago

Mostly humanity just polishes turds to sell to other humans. Religion is a turd. Rships are turds. Communities are turds. Brains are turds. Bodies are turds that die. This has been brought to you by Dark But True, the company that says just brush away the sugar and bite the turd.

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Joke Writers Utopia @jokewriteutopia

a year ago

My job? Bailing out the ship with a thimble while the executives above me constantly blast massive holes in the hull.

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Joke Writers Utopia @jokewriteutopia

a year ago

Later on, in darker times, he grew to epic proportions, and became known as Bob the Destroyer.

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Joke Writers Utopia @jokewriteutopia

a year ago

If you love the sound of horns honking, drive around in a car decorated with "Just Unmarried!"

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Joke Writers Utopia @jokewriteutopia

a year ago

She said, “Do you love me?” and I said, “Somewhat" -- which I thought was generous -- and now we don’t talk.

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Joke Writers Utopia @jokewriteutopia

a year ago

I’m exploring the boundaries between art and dreck.

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Joke Writers Utopia @jokewriteutopia

a year ago

My god, the texts I’ve almost sent.

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Joke Writers Utopia @jokewriteutopia

a year ago

I call my dogs Boo Boo and Dipshit. You get the love you earn.

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Joke Writers Utopia @jokewriteutopia

a year ago

Please ask if you displease me. Let’s start there.

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Joke Writers Utopia @jokewriteutopia

a year ago

I had a dream where I was sharing a work desk with a woman I know who died 30 yrs ago. She was teaching me about sexual harassment using my desk pics, including one of squirrels and a deep sea fish playing together atop a bird feeder 300 ft in the air. Who writes this shit?

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Joke Writers Utopia @jokewriteutopia

a year ago

If I were one of those people who can be hired as a professional mourner to really wail at someone’s funeral, my professional name would be Sigourney Griever.

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Joke Writers Utopia @jokewriteutopia

a year ago

I think we can all agree that God’s a shitty communicator.

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Joke Writers Utopia @jokewriteutopia

a year ago

My dog is a recovering alcoholic. She had half a beer like six years ago, and still, to this day, whenever I open a beer you can just see in her eye how much she wants it. Sad. And, yes, it's just the one eye.

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Joke Writers Utopia @jokewriteutopia

a year ago

“Be true to yourself.” “But my true self just likes to mimic other people, so I don’t have to think hard or try to be original.” “Okay, uh, shit. Bob! Bob, I need some help over here!”