Joshua Bausch @joshbausch

If I use my bio to be self-degrading, does that make me biodegradable? instagram.com/joshbausch FL Panhandle Joined April 2009

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Joshua Bausch @joshbausch

a year ago

Ok, well … Buh-Biden 👋🏻

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Joshua Bausch @joshbausch

2 years ago

The directions on my One-A-Day® vitamins say I should take two daily. Excuse me while I just sit quietly for a while.

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Joshua Bausch @joshbausch

2 years ago

No matter how old @DaveSFoley gets he’s never going to stop looking like a young man in old man makeup

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Joshua Bausch @joshbausch

2 years ago

Grogu has a special message for all of you this #maythe4th . . #starwarsday #maythe4thbewithyou #grogu not #babyyoda

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Joshua Bausch @joshbausch

3 years ago

ME: “Oooo, you’re not wearing green!” *pinch* FIREMAN: “Sir, you are severely obstructing our efforts to get this fire under control …”

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Joshua Bausch @joshbausch

3 years ago

5YO: “We have to battle a snake with 300 tails!” ME: “Are you sure it isn’t 300 snakes with one head?”

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Joshua Bausch @joshbausch

3 years ago

I neglected to post a “Happy Thanksging” to the general public yesterday but since there’s no going back 🌟🎄⛄️ MERRY CHRISTMAS, EVERYBODY!! 🎅🏻🎁🌟

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Joshua Bausch @joshbausch

3 years ago

Has anyone else is talk to text really bend draw panda ball lately?

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Joshua Bausch @joshbausch

3 years ago

Thanks for mentioning the Queen part because I know a ton of Elizabeths

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Joshua Bausch @joshbausch

3 years ago

I am fundamentally opposed to forgiving student drivers.

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Joshua Bausch @joshbausch

3 years ago

How do you sneeze on a plate of tortilla chips? “NAaaCHOooS!!” (I told this to my 5 year-old and it killed)

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Joshua Bausch @joshbausch

3 years ago

My 4 year-old just dropped this mix on me: “Ants in my Pants! Ants in my Pants! Boots and Cats and Boots and Cats Boots and Cats and Mama Mia, Mama Mia, Mama Mia Let Me Go!”

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Joshua Bausch @joshbausch

3 years ago

As of today I’ve played 100 Wordles. I’ve also won 100 Wordles. 😁👍🏻 #humblebrag #wordle #ilovewordle #keepit100 #streaksdontmatter

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Joshua Bausch @joshbausch

3 years ago

I don’t know who needs to hear this but it’s okay if the Fourth wasn’t with you today.

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Joshua Bausch @joshbausch

4 years ago

WIFE: “Should I look for anything special while I’m at the store?” ME: “A mirror.” WIFE: “...?” ME: “We don’t need one, but if you see one — you’ll be looking at something special.” 😉❤️

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Joshua Bausch @joshbausch

4 years ago

Shout out to every 90s girl who had to live through Lou Bega saying her name in Mambo No. 5

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Joshua Bausch @joshbausch

4 years ago

His name isn’t Won’t Smith.

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I saw a list that said “100 Books You Have To Read Before You Die” and I’m worried like, is this really a firm requirement? cuz I’m a SLOW reader y’all and I’m just not sure I want to still be alive and all decrepit at 147 going dang, this book #83 is dryyyyyy

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Joshua Bausch @joshbausch

4 years ago

22:22 2/22/22

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Joshua Bausch @joshbausch

4 years ago

Imagine Gandalf sometimes thought about what if he ever had to fight a Balrog and always told himself “guess I’ll just cross that bridge when I come to it” and then it actually happened and he was like “well haha how about that”