kelsey mccormick @kelsomcc22

don’t be a lady, be a legend Joined January 2012

Tweets

65K
Followers

851
Following

580
Likes

88K

Parks and Recreation @parksandrec

3 years ago

Rest in peace, Helen Slayton-Hughes ❤️ Ethel Beavers will forever be in our hearts.

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dana bad @baddanadanabad

3 years ago

maybe the grinch just had seasonal depression. like did he actually “hate christmas” or did he just need a prescription for wellbutrin

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Matt. @MattTheBrand

3 years ago

weighted blankets are not enough. hit me with a shovel

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brooke @ladyefron

3 years ago

If I could change one physical thing about myself besides all of my body and my whole face? It’d be my hair.

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sensory homunculette @myfriendcallie

3 years ago

It should be illegal for boyfriends to be asleep when you want to chit chat

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trash jones @jzux

3 years ago

benadryl: oh you’ll go to sleep alright me: awesome! and then i’ll wake up? benadryl: in a sense

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how these mother fuckers think “there’s this dad. and he’s god. and he has a son, and his name isn’t god, but he’s god. and there’s a holy spirit. and that’s no one. but it’s god. and it’s 3 people, but it’s one god” is easier to explain to kids than “sometimes 2 girls kiss”

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trash jones @jzux

3 years ago

“what do your tattoos mean” they mean nobody stopped me

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Sophie Vershbow @svershbow

3 years ago

I learned that when dogs lean against you it’s their version of hugging and now every time my dog leans against me my eyes start leaking.

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Reductress @Reductress

3 years ago

How to Cook the Moistest, Juiciest, Wettest, Dirtiest, Cum-Slut of a Turkey This Thanksgiving: ow.ly/J5ar50LHGXb

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kelsey mccormick @kelsomcc22

3 years ago

What’s the point in hating on a musical artist and their fans? They aren’t bothering you. Just let them enjoy!!! (Unless they are problematic humans of course)

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Jack @GayLaVie

3 years ago

The NYU student who took over my lease has owed me $100 for weeks, and when I asked him to pay me, he said he felt bullied and then sent me a Psychology Today article about gaslighting.