Kiersten Coatney @kiermdogger
Holland, MI Joined January 2013-
Tweets810
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Followers115
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Following164
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Likes2K
Does this mean you’re starting a football team???
If you’re the douche that honks at me to go right as the light turns green, there’s a 100% chance I’m gonna wait and go real slow.
I really just wanna be famous so that I can do Lip Sync Battle with @jimmyfallon
Unless you're my bowels, don't tell me I've had too much coffee.
Going to the hair dresser never fails to begin with me apologizing for how bad I have let my hair get 🙈
On an all-carb diet in preparation for beach season.
JT: "U know why the ocean is so salty? Sperm whales ejaculate 625 gallons of semen a day!" The more you know I guess. Thx buddy 🐳👍🏼
I have 4 hours left to get that SB bod. At least my procrastination is consistent throughout every aspect of my life 💁🏽
I hope all this wind means Mary Poppins about to blow in and help me get my life back together
"Dress well, test well" means I wear my nicest sweatpants with my nicest sweatshirt.
Some old guy just sprinted by me at Meijers... like slow down, grandpa, it's not a race 💁🏽
If I only eat the choclate in my trail mix does it still count as a healthy snack?
First day in this class, and I sit at the only left-handed desk in the room. Good start, Kiersten. 🙄
Class started an hour early today. I forgot. Prof 2min after I walked in: ok let's take a break. Kiersten, did you need a potty break? No 😑
Life Hack: instead of working out and dieting, just wear a t-shirt to the beach this summer.
A good form of birth control is tucking your t-shirt into your jeans.

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