krista 🍋 @kstaaar0
she/her i'm going to iron out all of life's disappointing wrinkles Cleveland, OH/Chicago, IL Joined August 2011-
Tweets32K
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Followers188
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Following150
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Likes9K
Me in November
I’m teaching a CPR class this morning and someone showed up wearing an american heart association tshirt, like ok girl it’s like it’s spirit week or something I love it
Me liking the instagram stories on my business account from my personal as if I wasn’t the one who posted them
Haters will say it’s useless but having a car blanket is important to me and my lap is always warm and toasty
krista 🍋 retweeted
Oh no, I finished all of my little word games for the day and now I have to feel my feelings
My Uber driver at 4am taking me to my 6am flight: perfect time to blast Starships by Nicki Minaj
Simply cannot believe I saw Jonas Brothers in 2023 and that I am still simping for Joe after all this time
krista 🍋 retweeted
Chicago Night 3 out of context
Hate when I email someone and they have the nerve to email me back
I can’t believe Taylor swift would sing getaway car and maroon in the same night without me there
krista 🍋 retweeted
Me when I'm at work:
krista 🍋 retweeted
Sisyphean Task
Time really is an illusion and not real because there’s no way that much time has passed since those things happened you know??
Jail
My favorite thing to do when someone asks me if I have any questions is say “no but…” and proceed to ask them a question
krista 🍋 retweeted
The volturi showing up to fight the cullens
Fixed my laptop so that I could do my taxes but what if I just started playing sims instead
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