Leon's Existential Cafe @leonscafe31
Psychotherapist and philosophical writer exploring the deep recesses of the human soul. Co-host of @seize_podcast. existentialcafe.blog Brooklyn, NY Joined March 2018-
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Of all of the negative emotions, shame is the worst. Anxiety subsides when we avert a threat. Sadness ends when fortune shifts. Anger resolved through rectification. But, shame persists relentlessly. It whispers through other emotions, scolding us for them.existentialcafe.blog/2022/06/14/for…
In Baby Reindeer, he noted that he was addicted to self-hate, but he was addicted to self-love. He couldn’t trust love without admiration, being seen as “the person you came here to be.” His self-awareness was limited by his blindness to who he was: flawed.existentialcafe.blog/2023/08/05/the…
Responsibility asks: Can you try something else to help make this work better? Blame asserts: You should be punished for this not working. Patients fear being blamed and discarded, shamed for their unwillingness to accept aid, which they tend to mistrust. existentialcafe.blog/2024/04/24/in-…
A kid I know, who knew nothing of Israel/Palestine, saw his friends and classmates be manhandled and assaulted by cops last night, so he decided to join the protests. A huge congrats to school admins and, especially, the state. Y’all are all MVPs.
Dr. Edith Shiro argues, “The trauma itself comes not from the event, but from how we interpret the event, the resources we have to deal with it, and the way we process it. Our response is connected to the meaning we make of the experience.” Article: existentialcafe.blog/2023/04/29/my-…
Dr. Edith Shiro argues, “The trauma itself comes not from the event, but from how we interpret the event, the resources we have to deal with it, and the way we process it. Our response is connected to the meaning we make of the experience.” Article: existentialcafe.blog/2023/04/29/my-…
Ultimately, the ability to take risks and tolerate the uncertainty that accompanies them is the point of therapy. When struggling with depression, self-isolation, and loneliness, the individual also struggles with dysfunctional thinking, feeling worthless. existentialcafe.blog/2022/12/28/the…
@leonscafe31 “Healthy individuals don’t necessarily feel as though they love themselves; they just don’t constantly think about how repugnant they are.” Now that's something to think about. I enjoyed reading this.
Viktor Frankl taught me that suffering was inevitable, but that character was special. A Christian philosopher noted that the only possessions we take upon death are our deeds; for they afford us the gift of immortality through their everlasting essence. existentialcafe.blog/2019/02/27/fin…
Often, the existentialists and cynics, or nihilists, are lumped together. The options seem to be: you’re either spiritual or cynical. But there are fundamental differences, the main one being that the existentialist chooses to live with anxiety. existentialcafe.blog/2024/02/07/the…
The famed psychoanalyst Jacques Lacan noted that most individuals preferred fantasy to reality, especially as it related to the acquisition of some desired object. For Lacan, fantasy was, itself, the ultimate prize; it was the de facto object of affection. existentialcafe.blog/2019/02/28/liv…
Narcissistic Personality Disorder implies the relentless search for ultimate validation. For the chronic seeker of praise, he chases the high of self-love, which is the high of certainty. He believes something or someone will satiate his gnawing hunger. existentialcafe.blog/2023/08/05/the…
Psychoanalyst Nancy McWilliams writes, “Their need for others is deep, but their love for them is shallow.” She goes on to note, “A therapist who is able to help a narcissistic person find self-acceptance without inflating the self has done a good deed.” existentialcafe.blog/2023/11/08/the…
Traumatic childhoods can cause people to attempt to flee their lives by cultivating and pursuing fantasies, or utopic lives, believing that they’ll make up for all the sorrow and harmonize their existence. But, the fantasies never do, reality pushing back. existentialcafe.blog/2023/04/05/lea…
Psychoanalyst Nancy McWilliams posited, “A by-product of idealization and the associated belief in perfection is that imperfections in the self are harder to bear; fusion with an idealized object is an attractive remedy.” existentialcafe.blog/2023/08/30/run…
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@leonscafe31 Beautiful and precise way to explain how we shape our own experience of trauma *without* victim blaming. CC @TweetATherapist
Tonight... @SaxonOfficial @uriah_heep
@leonscafe31 “Healthy individuals don’t necessarily feel as though they love themselves; they just don’t constantly think about how repugnant they are.” Now that's something to think about. I enjoyed reading this.
@leonscafe31 Lots of resonant minor chords in that tune. 🔊
Baby Reindeer is a masterpiece. The best exploration of sexual abuse/trauma I think I’ve ever seen on TV.
@leonscafe31 Gift of immortality = not always related to being a good person
Cool! Need I remind people that my blog on Psychology Today is currently the ONLY blog where a master's level trained person living with a schizophrenia disorder writes about schizophrenia from a scientific perspective motivated by lived experience.
Doctor's appointment: healing from surgery is going well, further treatment is going to happen this summer, hopefully I will feel more myself (if all goes well, it doesn't come back etc) by end of the year. I'm doing my best + medicine + kismet -- feeling optimistic.
@leonscafe31 great example. Sounds like his patients were a real pain!!!
If in traditional psychoanalysis, one way an analyst could disavow unwanted or taboo feelings he was experiencing was to say to himself, “This is entirely a response to my patient’s transference” A way a Relational analyst could abnegate responsibility and disavow a part of
@leonscafe31 Congratulations! From what I’ve read of yours, you deserve it.
Very pleased that our paper (with @awaisaftab, @AllenFrancesMD, and @Castalia1981) titled "Psychiatric Diagnosis: A Clinical Guide to Navigating Diagnostic Pluralism" has been accepted by the Journal of Nervous and Mental Disease.
@Cal_tcd @leonscafe31 Yeah, it's only reliable causal relations that allow effective agency, so determinism is nothing to worry about. Unless, that is, you want to take strong credit and place strong blame, in which case you'll deny that people are fully causally traceable.
@leonscafe31 "But, in another, [belief in free will] caused me to blame myself for not being tougher in the first place." Most folks imagine people could have formed themselves to be better so blame them if they didn't. An unfortunate bit of magical thinking.
Three week post major surgery selfie. Finally begin to feel some improvement. Daily tiny (tiny = a few houses far) walks.
I said this on a recent podcast, but it is worth repeating. Anyone who thinks trauma has been neglected in the psychiatric and psychodynamic understanding of borderline personality disorder knows *nothing at all* about the history of borderline personality disorder.
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