🌞 lew 🍑🌿 @lewcifer9

she/her • certified disaster • probably in the ER Birmingham, AL Joined December 2009

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🌞 lew 🍑🌿 @lewcifer9

8 months ago

Deleting this godforsaken app AGAIN until someone Luigis that little troll looking apartheid freak that owns this pile of shit. Die painfully and penniless, then rot in hell you racist Nazi fuck @elonmusk

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🌞 lew 🍑🌿 @lewcifer9

9 months ago

I’m gonna miss tik tok mostly because it gave me hope that ugly people could be popular

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🌞 lew 🍑🌿 @lewcifer9

9 months ago

I’m tired of looking at skinny people

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🌞 lew 🍑🌿 @lewcifer9

a year ago

I am the fun police and I’m here to tell you if you sit in the wrong seat at the assigned-seat movie theatre and it fucks ME up, you are my fucking enemy

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🌞 lew 🍑🌿 @lewcifer9

a year ago

my parents just called me to settle a dispute about who was better at brushing my hair when I was little and I did tear up just a bit cause that means they were just casually chatting about brushing my hair when I was little

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🌞 lew 🍑🌿 @lewcifer9

a year ago

Challengers fanfic is about to take over AO3

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🌞 lew 🍑🌿 @lewcifer9

2 years ago

Hey what’s a a good position to sleep in that’s not on your side or on your back or on your tummy I’m looking for suggestions (suspension in a jelly like substance?? zero gravity??)

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🌞 lew 🍑🌿 @lewcifer9

2 years ago

Pitch: sensor on iPhone that can tell when you get out of bed so the post-wake-up, pre-out-of-bed TikTok binge can be excluded from Screen Time. It’s actually not fair to count that at all. Sharks,

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🌞 lew 🍑🌿 @lewcifer9

2 years ago

I downloaded Twitter again it’s over for you bitches

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🌞 lew 🍑🌿 @lewcifer9

2 years ago

trying to have the same vibes as Strega Nona

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🌞 lew 🍑🌿 @lewcifer9

2 years ago

i am now the same age as the adults that gave me rapture anxiety as a child and i can say with full conviction that those people AND their theology are genuinely evil

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🌞 lew 🍑🌿 @lewcifer9

2 years ago

I don’t. Have to. Pretend. I like. Flaccid cock.

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🌞 lew 🍑🌿 @lewcifer9

2 years ago

Thank god I have the Instagram stories of actors to tell me what to think in this scary time

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🌞 lew 🍑🌿 @lewcifer9

2 years ago

Guys I downloaded the collage journal app and it’s become my personality

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Download Video

🌞 lew 🍑🌿 @lewcifer9

2 years ago

Just a PSA to all my fellow “fat funny friends” - you don’t have to go as Weird Barbie when Halloween rolls around. You can be Hot Barbie too

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🌞 lew 🍑🌿 @lewcifer9

2 years ago

both of my parents (old people) claim to have NEVER heard Quando, Quando, Quando by Engelbert Humperdinck. Did I make this up

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🌞 lew 🍑🌿 @lewcifer9

2 years ago

men will never fully understand anything (I just saw Barbie)

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🌞 lew 🍑🌿 @lewcifer9

2 years ago

Not much I love more than falling asleep on the couch for thirty minutes then getting up and going to bed. These are the things you look forward to at 28