LΣ✘ @lex_machina
I’m only here to get more followers than my husband. Nashville, Tennessee Joined March 2012-
Tweets118
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Followers94
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Following139
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Likes409
LΣ✘ retweeted
a little over a year ago i received this dm. every day since, ive lived in fear
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LΣ✘ retweeted
why postmate person never wanna come imside and chill, maybe watch disney coco movie with me
I donate plasma so I can buy lights for my toilet from Amazon guilt-free
Marriage is fighting over which leftover meat in the fridge you get to add to your Velveeta shells and cheese macaroni.
“Man, I just don’t know if I could be with someone who does that”-@KGthings while watching GoT tonight
LΣ✘ retweeted
Sansa dangling Bran above winterfell to lure the Night King in
LΣ✘ retweeted
this week is gonna be so fuckin awesome for you I don’t know why I can just feel it and I’m sending some serious good vibes for it to happen so let’s do this you guys
Profoundly? No thanks. I’m still recovering from the comment in my Honesty Box from 11 years ago that said my hair looked like hay.
Like, what’s the point of high school? Cool, I learned how to calculate for x but no one taught me the best way to tell my mother that my sister’s a stripper?????
Prescription: may cause weight gain *gains weight* Me:
LΣ✘ retweeted
I really love "back on my bullshit" because it implies: 1) you have bullshit to be on (proud of you for that); 2) you took a little break (for self-care, maybe?); and 3) now you're back, refreshed, and on your bullshit.
LΣ✘ retweeted
me: :) houseplant: 🌱 me: :) houseplant: 🌱 me: :) houseplant: 🌿 me: :D
LΣ✘ retweeted
Spotted in #Disneyland. Guess we are having a family reunion. Lol
Watching a movie I don’t fucking care about because my husband knows every word to the songs and thinks the dog girlfriend is hot and really that’s just marriage in a nutshell
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