white trash mid-atlantic man @lumsuh
You can catch me at applebees drinking dolla-rita's™ with your baby momma the north portland peninsula Joined January 2013-
Tweets477
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Followers95
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Following88
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Likes15K
Meanwhile in Osaka, Japan: #wplace
We literally hire dozens of meth addicted homeless people every year and you're going to bitch and moan about professionalism and tell people to stop saying the word fuck
My body isn't really a temple it's a fundamentalist evangelical church that used to be a vape shop in a halfway abandoned strip mall in Arkansas
I saw a fucking creature that had the head of an owl and the body of a Greek god except it had hella Cthulhu ass vibes and I stg that mfer was trying to kill me but luckily my cat saved me 0/10 whack ass pyschedelic never doing dmt again also it smells like fucking shit
He promised to run the country like he ran his business. It ended with Rudy Giuliani outside Four Season Total Landscaping next to a dildo shop, after a staffer mistakenly thought the empty parking lot was a Four Seasons hotel.
Things are looking really hopeful rn, seeing as I haven't gone to college or had sex since the last democratic presidency
My heart goes out to everyone in Southern Oregon right now except for the gold digger bitch who murdered my grandfather
I have officially given up all hope in life and will be attempting to move back to Arlington at the end of my lease
This shit really hurts man I love you Seb gofundme.com/f/funeral-cost…
I have an incredibly toxic group of no friends
Bro you're like 45 and you put boxes onto a conveyor belt for a living please give up on your rap career
If my lungs look anything like my bong then I'm completely fucked
There are only two absolutes at UPS. We don't do drugs and we don't throw packages. Those are both hateful, disgusting lies.
Currently wiping my asshole with q-tips, watching my poor kitty go poop in sand that I had to steal. Fuck you if you're hoarding toilet paper or cat litter you're the fucking worst
My friends are handling sports being cancelled like normal responsible adults
I went to the doctor she said "are you sexually active?" I said that depends on your definition of sexually active.... Turns out the answer is no I'm not
Should delete my Twitter and make a new one?
I wish I could go back in time and tell myself to drop out of high school
Spending time with my family over the holidays made me realize I never want kids because my bloodline is abusive and toxic and I have the power to end it

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