Matt Vermilyea @matt_vermilyea
Man of the People Joined October 2010-
Tweets3K
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Followers110
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Following172
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Likes2K
can’t leave a guy like me around a toaster w/ a broad knife. never know what hijinks might happen
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I wish I had a wife I could talk to about market volatility
was way ahead on this
was way ahead on this https://t.co/r8N8RPxyiZ
plugging a charger into each of my laptops ports so it can get the care and attention it needs
ummmm okay; so they’re scabs now? not a good look
it’s disgusting the violence you see on the streets. I just saw a bird attack a squirrel. wouldn’t happen in Reagan’s America!
my only political position is that the police should send gift baskets to the wrongfully accused
clutching my pillow as my roommate and his kinda gf fight in the other room. will man and woman ever know peace?
ppl look at me and all they see is this tough exterior. they have no idea how much of a little bitch I can be
donald arthur trump, are you man enough to put your faith in a fresh-faced southern lawyer long on charm but short on experience? if so, call me
urge everyone excited about the trump news not to get their hopes up. I’ve been indicted plenty of times and nothings come of it
walking in the criterion closet and asking if they have the goonies
the thing most ppl don’t understand about me is that I can eat more almonds than all of y’all combined
I don’t read mail. if you want to say I have jury duty say it to my face
so pissed that the sun hasn't come out. i'm sitting outside in sunglasses and a big dumb hat and it embarrasses me like this. unforgivable. i hope humanity blows it up someday
liberals want to see trump thrown in jail, but just wait til he converts to islam
might sound crazy, but boys love to borrow each other’s joan didion books. it’s just something women wouldn’t understand
the streets are in a frenzy with Oscar fever. not me though. I want to ride a horse
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aware my heart of my ... @suicidepussy
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paul schrader's faceb... @paul_posts
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999 Followers 433 Following A stupid writer that loves stupid cartoons. (opinions = mine) Currently: 🤫 Prev. work: 🤫, CLONE HIGH, WARPED!, A.P. Bio, Call Your Mother #TAG
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114K Followers 27 Following The Godfather, Misery, Thief, Brian's Song, Rollerball, The Gambler, Hide in Plain Sight (⬅️ Directed), EL Dorado, Funny Lady, ELF & many more 🙏 End Of Tweet
extremely online bot @mullbot_forever
33K Followers 0 Following Bot made using old nick tweets saved by @YouBitchMan . Bot tweets out old unaltered nick posts. Follow @jewbabystroller @kummkopf they're cool
Manders @TimKalpakis
31K Followers 1K Following Tv writer from @TheBirthdayBoys Between Two Ferns @ComedyBangBang ILYA w/ Sarah Silverman & Digman & in the band @TheSloppyBoys
Stavros Halkias @stavvybaby
316K Followers 846 Following New special ‘FAT RASCAL’ only on Netflix! Listen to the @stavvysworld podcast available everywhere
Todd Barry @toddbarry
282K Followers 1K Following YouTube: DOMESTIC SHORTHAIR Netflix: SPICY HONEY Prime: THE CROWD WORK TOUR Book: THANK YOU FOR COMING TO HATTIESBURG https://t.co/AgBudWd5Ff
…to the point of te... @TuckerPhelps
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113K Followers 937 Following please don't destroy and @nbcsnl // https://t.co/MQQ3RwJ2vo
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85K Followers 1K Following Send me your address so I can visit you and explain my passions
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