matty @matthoak11
hey, that’s pretty cool Stockton, CA Joined November 2016-
Tweets27
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Followers68
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Following86
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Likes196
the amount of “hey man, how’s it goin”s I’ve had to dish out today is unfathomable
My coworker has been sniffling all day. When I told him to blow his nose he said “nah man I don’t trust those napkins, better safe than sorry”. What the fuck does that even mean??
my mom is the president of neighborhood watch shut the fuck up
being a security guard taught me that I’m too smart to be a security guard
astrology is cool but your mood doesn’t change just because the moon did a somersault
white people love to see the smoke in the air and say “this is the type of weather where I’d wear a mask even without the pandemic!”
you don’t know fear until you’ve worn a 9ers jersey to a Raiders home game
one of my teachers just fell in class and threatened to sue the university lol
nothing can prepare you for what you see in a men’s locker room at the gym
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