ID RATHER BE FISHING @maxtalksshit

Professional Joined November 2019

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ID RATHER BE FISHING @maxtalksshit

4 days ago

the Mossad stole my mini fridge and is using it for evil in the Gaza Strip.

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ID RATHER BE FISHING @maxtalksshit

4 days ago

sometimes ill walk around Albertsons with a baseball bat with a sock on the end and a ski mask just to make sure my community grocery store is safe for families

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ID RATHER BE FISHING @maxtalksshit

4 days ago

one of by hbs listens to those alpha male podcasts bitching abt women but is simultaneously the town twink so i guess i just don’t even fuckin know anymore gettin too old for all this

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ID RATHER BE FISHING @maxtalksshit

4 days ago

had too many white monsters last night and i myself turned into a white monster

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ID RATHER BE FISHING @maxtalksshit

4 days ago

lord please strike down patrick mahomes’ wife with a mighty thunderbolt or car crash or volcano or like a heroin overdose just something please god in heaven

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ID RATHER BE FISHING @maxtalksshit

5 days ago

do y’all’s bushes ever stick together so when you pull out it lowkey makes the velcro sound

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ID RATHER BE FISHING @maxtalksshit

3 weeks ago

let’s say we open a brothel in thailand called hotel trans-ylvania but it’s all ladyboys with fake vampire teeth

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ID RATHER BE FISHING @maxtalksshit

3 weeks ago

gonna fill my tires to 100 so if I hit a pothole I get in a plane crash

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ID RATHER BE FISHING @maxtalksshit

3 weeks ago

crazy how fast brake lines get cut when someone calls you bud

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ID RATHER BE FISHING @maxtalksshit

3 weeks ago

i work harder than a fat stripper on a weekday

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ID RATHER BE FISHING @maxtalksshit

3 weeks ago

i hope yall don’t just view my account as witty and daft but also a place of solace as we traverse these difficult times

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ID RATHER BE FISHING @maxtalksshit

3 weeks ago

when your hbs gf keeps posting pics of her journaling with a candle in the background, positivity reposts, laptop selfies and local coffee shops so you lowk know what’s about to happen

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ID RATHER BE FISHING @maxtalksshit

4 weeks ago

real eaters recognize the importance of lickin an ice cream cone as a kid

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ID RATHER BE FISHING @maxtalksshit

4 weeks ago

telling my boss i OD ied on my epilepsy medication and i might be late because im doing my best driving

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ID RATHER BE FISHING @maxtalksshit

4 weeks ago

i wake up frothing from the mouth with bloodshot eyes and tremors. See a 2 day old used Zyn on the nightstand. all is well. there is peace in the world. i am loved.