max @messybrainboy

ed vent | sorta recovered | not pro | 22 he/him Joined July 2017

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max @messybrainboy

4 years ago

i know i shouldn't miss my restriction days but fuck i do hahaha, even when i wasn't skinny i at least wasn't overweight. can't believe i was really a size xs thinking i was fat

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max @messybrainboy

4 years ago

i bought a ton of cute clothes to suit my new style and i need to lose some weight to look good in them, not tons, like this is for short term looking good, maybe 10lbs, but i really do need to do it

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max @messybrainboy

4 years ago

i just want to be skinny so much why can't i control myself

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max @messybrainboy

4 years ago

wish i could still restrict. i'm so fat now.

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max @messybrainboy

4 years ago

man i could just cry i used to be so thin and hot and now i'm just a huge blob and i want to cut the fat off of my skin and burn it and sew myself back up and just be pretty

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i just want to be little and skinny and tiny and for my boyfriend to be able to pick me up and i want to dress sexy for halloween and not automatically suck in my stomach and have to tell myself to relax over and over just to be able to stop

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max @messybrainboy

4 years ago

look at my uggy in her box

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max @messybrainboy

4 years ago

i feel good that like i'm doing it right. it's nice to know i'm not like restricting past what's okay, but i'm aware that i'm still not quite eating enough on some days. like, i'm eating just about enough to not be hungry all the time, but i don't feel like properly full

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max @messybrainboy

4 years ago

we adopted a new cat!! she's 11 months old and blind and the most affectionate cat i've ever met. she's been in my lap and climbing all over me for hours and i just love her so much.

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max @messybrainboy

4 years ago

had mcdonalds but still managing to be at a semi okay amount of calories. won't lose tomorrow, but it doesn't matter becauseeee

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max @messybrainboy

4 years ago

didn't lose anything today even though i stayed under my cals ughhhh. to be fair i've lost 2lbs this week and that's what's like a healthy amount but i don't want to be healthy i want to be skinny lmao