Miranda Schmidt @mirandas_888

| DU’20 | ΔΖ |🌻♒️🍓| Colorado, USA Joined September 2012

Tweets

583
Followers

141
Following

156
Likes

2K

slate @PleaseBeGneiss

5 years ago

recipe: 4 cloves garlic me: if you’re weak

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dinosaur @dinosaurcouch

5 years ago

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CaitieHannan @caitiehannan

5 years ago

As a therapist I can say confidently, that while therapy is helpful, what most people really need is money

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Miranda Schmidt @mirandas_888

5 years ago

Internet explorer is like that one friend who invites themselves to everything

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Alex Murdoch @alexgmurd

5 years ago

you know what carrie? i CAN’T shoot whiskey and i DO prefer a fruity little drink. sue me!!!!!!!!!

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“It’s not done yet” - Unprofessional - Disappointing - Your boss will keep bothering you “All in due time...” - Ominous - Mysterious - Your boss might think “sounds like there’s a prophecy unfolding I probably shouldn’t rush them”

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kayla @baz00per

5 years ago

pet rent is the stupidest concept i’ve ever heard of how do you expect my cat to pay $50 a month she is unemployed

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MO’ BLUES @ROZtheCreator

5 years ago

NEVER FORGET.

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Colorado Problems @ColoProbs

5 years ago

WYD CO??

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Eli McCann @EliMcCann

6 years ago

YOU GUYS. I just saw the most wild thing! A man started walking toward the Girl Scouts cookie stand in front of the grocery store and he yelled “my bitches are BACK” and this Girl Scout just yelled “no. Walk away.” AND HE DID.