smorgs @mkdobbs
please leave me alone Texas, USA Joined September 2013-
Tweets14K
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Followers519
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Following334
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Likes11K
Getting up off the couch and going to bed is genuinely the hardest part of my day
My toxic trait is thinking I could renovate a fixer upper with absolutely zero previous experience or knowledge
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i miss when u could touch a tv and feel its fur
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whoever normalized $120 hoodies n $80 sweatpants needs to be stopped
Are we surprised
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“I’m just following up on …..” helllooo? , mary & joseph have already started their journey from Nazareth. her water will break any time from now. circle back in the new year.
I didn’t have the fall of the great dynasty of Starbucks on my bingo card for 2023
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This is the modern day equivalent of a Roman emperor playing with the lives of plebeians like a cat batting a toy to the roar of the crowd
smorgs retweeted
@Historiographos 20 years ago was 1980s. I said what I said.
Her Siri, I don’t like my #SpotifyWrapped how can I change it
Why are people so comfortable driving UNDER the speed limit 😭
When your back up camera stops working so you have to use your mirrors the old-fashioned way
I am constantly telling women in the workplace “no need to apologize!” And I mean that. Most sternly.
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