Jennifer Jacob @mombieattack

Mom. Writer. Weirdo. Lilburn, GA Joined October 2020

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Jennifer Jacob @mombieattack

5 years ago

4: Mommy, Daddy, I think Nick Fury has to go tee tee! #momlife #dadlife #kidlogic #Marvel #Avengers #MarvelsAvengers

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4, daily for last 6 weeks: I want to be Toothless for #Halloween Me: Buys non-returnable matching costumes for all three of us. 4: I don’t like my costume, I want to be Captain America. Me: Then Captain America is going as Toothless for Halloween. #momlife #howtotrainyourdragon

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Jennifer Jacob @mombieattack

5 years ago

Some days I’m like, “The sooner I get to cleaning, the sooner it will be out of the way,” and other, more realistic days, I’m like, “The sooner I get to cleaning, the sooner I’ll have to do the whole thing over again.” #momlife #theresomechoresinthishouse

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Jennifer Jacob @mombieattack

5 years ago

Watching cable news for the first time in ages, and oh mah gah, was it always like this? The ad for the presidential debate seems more like an ad for a boxing match. No wonder we have a failed reality show host in the White House. #cablenews @CNN #politicalads #advertising

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Jennifer Jacob @mombieattack

5 years ago

4, holding a coffin shaped piece of candy: This is something that mommy wakes up. Me: A coffin? 4: Yeah! Mommy wakes up in a coffin! 😄😄😄 #momlife #kidthoughts #parenting #kidssay #kids

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Jennifer Jacob @mombieattack

5 years ago

Hubs: makes dad joke 4: Hey, stop it, Daddy! You’re blocking my...ugh, you’re ruining my...you’re *pshaow!* you’re blowing my mind away! I need to go skate and get my mind back! 4: Takes off pensively into the sunset on Razor Scooter Jr. #dadlife #momlife #kidthoughts #dadjokes

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Jennifer Jacob @mombieattack

5 years ago

4yo after his grandmother visits and keeps producing candy from her pockets and purse: “Grammy is made of candy.” #momlife #kids #stuffmykidsays #kidlogic #parenting #grandparents #spoiledrotten

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Jennifer Jacob @mombieattack

5 years ago

Me: I have to go pee. 4: Okay, good luck, Mom! #momlife #kidssay #kids #goodluck

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Keisha Lance Bottoms @KeishaBottoms

5 years ago

Me: Langston, will you teach me to play the piano? It’s been a lifelong dream to learn. I bought a book! Lennox: Well, that doesn’t make sense. Do you even know how to read music? Me: I did when I was a kid. Lennox: Well, that was 40 years ago. Did you ever pet a dinosaur?

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Jennifer Jacob @mombieattack

5 years ago

4: I’m the sword Avenger and you’re the bad guy! You can shoot poopoo teetee and farts out of you! Me: Well, that’s not exactly untrue— 4: Your hands! Out of your hands! #momlife #parenting #kidssay #avengers #marvel #imagination #ew #funnykids