matt @mpt_matt
Watched Shrek 2 four times. Not Here Joined December 2014-
Tweets79K
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Followers3K
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Following888
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Likes79K
No one calls this app X it was a funny attempt let’s go back now
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Waiting for this Epstein list like a new drake album is dropping
matt retweeted
you’re a coward @mpt_matt
If your dog poops on the floor while you’re out and you have a roomba going does the roomba know to just clean around the poo or does it drag the shit all over the house? I feel like this could be a future issue I should get in front of now.
2023: the only safe place to keep your NFTs and crypto is on a ledger or another hardware wallet 2024: just kidding ledger isn’t safe good luck!
This isn’t me This is also not me
Just let people have their fun stop being the grumpy old dude trying to ruin the party
Whoever started go big or go home must not have had a great home
matt retweeted
Seems like a short list at this point.....
Why did golf stop at sand and water? Why not add more challenges like mud or snow or a homeless man named Steve
They’re just making fun of us again. We’re still not back
I have to remember this is twitter and most people are very dumb. I need to remember this is twitter and most people are very dumb. I will remember this is twitter and most people are very dumb.
At what point does it stop becoming an escape room and start becoming your new home
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