my_broken_mind @mybrokenmind2

I have no problem falling in love. If anything I do it too easily. Maybe that's why they don't want me? Or is it the dresses... Or the bad hair? Hmmm

I'm so so tired of catching feeling and still being at arms length. Unless of course they're insane... Then they want to fucking have kids 🙄

Woop guess who lost control again, I let out words and panic and the people I showed it to didnt understand, didnt have the time, didnt care or had their own stuff to carry. Idk how to work through whats in my head today but I bet its gonna involve something sh4rp

Really love how I'm in a full depressive self-worth low but because my out-loud self talk is well practiced nobody really can tell... Then again there's nothing they can do about it so it wouldn't matter anyway

Ya know... This sucks lol

I get whiskey now. Like....i get it. Why people use it. Cause damn does it hit fast pol. Like i know i never really drink but for a "i want out of my head" drink, this really hits the nail on the head

I dont feel safe. I'm making friends and feel guilty about it. I crave having someone to come to. I'm tired. And the worst part is, he isn't here for any of it. I just want him to come back. I miss my friend.

I feel so unwanted. How long do I have to live with this. How many cycles before its ok to give up. Kept alive but not close. Breathing but never loved, not intimately. They dont want to feel anything for me when I feel everything for them. It wont end unless I do. Why wait.

There's not much about me that is physically attractive and it's drastically over shadowed by my egregiously unattractive mind. In other wards, I'm only desirable at a glance

I'm ired of not being enough. Of going to bed alone. Of not mattering. Of being disposable and left behind. I'm tired of being passed over cause literally anything is better than being with "that psycho bitch". No im not stable. Yes I'm suicidal. Guess you can flip the coin

It's happening again.

Im so repressed sexually. Ive had so much wasted energy for people for three years now and now im just shutting off. Sex just bothers me lately. Like I want intimacy and satisfaction and heat and Im not even close with peers. I cant let myself want sex. I just cant.

I hate myself. Why did I let things get so bad do fast? How did I let myself cayse so much pain. And did I finally lose tge one friend who's been here for so long. He confirmed everything I hate most about myself. He takes the brunt of it. I'm not a good friend, why would he stay