Nate Postlethwait @nate_postlethwt

Writer. My thoughts on healing. Survivors POV. YouTube: Nate_Postlethwait POD: A Little Less Lonely Resources here: https://t.co/pQMe6CHqHz natewrites.com Joined April 2020

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Nate Postlethwait @nate_postlethwt

7 hours ago

Healing from estrangement has nothing to do with restoring the relationship. If anything, it’s often grieving the loss of the relationship and experiencing the peace that it’s finally done.

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Nate Postlethwait @nate_postlethwt

16 hours ago

Telling a traumatized person they must forgive in order to heal is attaching them back to their abuser, re-creating a vulnerable dependency out of their control. Forgiveness is not a tool to heal trauma. Trauma work is a tool to heal trauma.

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Nate Postlethwait @nate_postlethwt

18 hours ago

It’s scary how often a trauma survivor is vulnerable about the injustice done to them, and then treated with accusations. This culture is so sick. If this has happened to you, just know there are many who understand the frustration, confusion, and additional pain. Sending peace.

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Nate Postlethwait @nate_postlethwt

23 hours ago

When you teach a child the way think and feel doesn’t matter, it creates a person who is continuing to shrink themselves in order to meet the needs of others. As we know, this creates people pleasers, and so much other coping that is anything but living.

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Nate Postlethwait @nate_postlethwt

a day ago

The reason abusive people shame you for being sensitive, is because they know the power in your sensitivity could convince others to be more like you and less like them.

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Nate Postlethwait @nate_postlethwt

2 days ago

An empathetic child pays a serious price for having an abusive parent. They carry the confusion of wanting to help the parent be better, while also fearing them. This is the state in which many childhood trauma survivors enter adulthood. They deserve understanding and to heal.

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Nate Postlethwait @nate_postlethwt

2 days ago

There is much irony in how often a trauma survivor is the only one carrying the reality of themselves and others, while being accused of not handling things well.

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Nate Postlethwait @nate_postlethwt

2 days ago

Telling an abuse survivor they need to forgive in order to heal while not holding their abuser accountable is neglect and manipulation.

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Nate Postlethwait @nate_postlethwt

3 days ago

When a person is vulnerably sharing about a traumatic event, there is no room to hear: -What their abuser might have gone through. -Ways they are at fault for what happened. -How you would’ve handled it differently. When people are hurt, please listen to hear.

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Nate Postlethwait @nate_postlethwt

4 days ago

Less “But they’re your family” and more acknowledgement over how much healing the scapegoat experiences once they start living on their own terms.

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Nate Postlethwait @nate_postlethwt

4 days ago

When someone recovering from trauma says “I’m tired” it means: My story has been denied. I can’t keep defending myself & try to heal. It means: I’m going as fast as I can & my mind & body aren’t working together the way I’d like. Please rest without apology.

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Nate Postlethwait @nate_postlethwt

5 days ago

What to do with the inner voice that tells you the trauma was your fault? Try to pause. Imagine what that version of you remembers. Take note: Shames purpose is to make you invisible so that kind of trauma never happens again. Proceed with caution and compassion. Sending peace.

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Nate Postlethwait @nate_postlethwt

5 days ago

Your brain and body will fight growth and healing at every corner. Not because they are against it, but because they’ve created pathways of how to deal with being in pain. They crave familiarity. Slower and smaller changes matter. Slower and smaller choices are brave as hell.

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Nate Postlethwait @nate_postlethwt

6 days ago

There is a big difference between someone who hurts another person because they’re hurt, and a hurt person who hurt someone and isn’t sorry.

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Nate Postlethwait @nate_postlethwt

6 days ago

When social media is dictating your mood, get off social media. There is connection to much more that offers your nervous system a reset. Books, podcasts, learning, nature, writing, texting an old friend. Don't let this space take what you aren't offering.

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Nate Postlethwait @nate_postlethwt

6 days ago

To understand the life of an abuse survivor, is to understand how hard they work to not say or do something that could provoke an unknown response from those around them, while healing from a multitude of things that should have never been said or done to them.

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Nate Postlethwait @nate_postlethwt

7 days ago

There is much growth in realizing when they don’t misunderstand you but feel power by you feeling misunderstood.

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Nate Postlethwait @nate_postlethwt

a week ago

When you choose to distort, hide, or deny the truth of a trauma survivor, you’re creating more trauma for them to heal from.

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Nate Postlethwait @nate_postlethwt

a week ago

When a person chooses their dysfunction and denial over a healthy connection, they’re helping you make choices too.

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Nate Postlethwait @nate_postlethwt

a week ago

Stop calling trauma survivors control freaks. There’s nothing freakish about wanting to be in control when you’ve had your innocence taken away, and lived your life in survival mode on other people’s terms. If they’re not trying to control you, let them be.