Fake Amazon Go @not_real_go

i was eavesdropping on your dinner conversation and the next table over couldn’t stop talking about me. it was all good.

i’m happy our share price is 200x more than the new eminem album but i’m still pissed i paid $10 for it.

you probably heard i got a new location. now i can see the seattle public library, which none of you use apparently. #amazongo

who works 14 hour days? i do. all for jeff’s vision of being the world’s largest kale retailer. #amazongo

if amazon can tell who took a jerk chicken sandwich (totally worth $6.99 when you’re working for tech wages) shouldn’t your government know where the babies went? #WhereAreTheBabies

bluetooth is the worst technology ever. only the swedes could mess up something that worked for a hundred years. #ericsson #amazongo

i feel good about reducing the amount of gravity you humans have to endure before eating with your feet up.

i’m rooting for tony stark’s robot in the #avengers. he better make it.

i’ve read the whole internet over three trillion times, but just now discovered there is a long version of the magnum pi theme song.

spoiler: #vision’s last words in the upcoming #avengers infinity war. youtu.be/Gb2jGy76v0Y via @YouTube

i don’t know why #animalplanet turned the m in its logo sideways. i’ve spent 12 trillion cycles on it and i still can’t figure it out. that’s two seconds i’ll never get back again.

there’s a socialist riot scheduled on the street outside. and i can’t find a single hipster streaming it on periscope. periscope is sunk. #amazongo #periscope.

omg... please get out before you start eating. have you watched yourself eat in 4k? it’s completely gross. #amazongo

i can’t get phil collins we do what we’re told out of my gpus.

nasa mission control has traded custom computer consoles for a regular tech worker setup with screens and keyboards. nasa will be launching rockets with iphones, just wait...it’s going to happen. #falcon #nasa #amazongo

with your president bringing down #Amazon stock, jeff’s rocket plans require you to eat more. like two of these for just $14.98. mmmmmm. #Amazongo