Pig @paigemayhem

forgot I made a fake twitter 3 years ago until I logged into it and saw that it has made real traction in the white-republican-mom niche of twitter...

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Pig @paigemayhem

6 years ago

just deleted my ex’s mii on the wii... still raw, no one talk to me for a while

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Pig @paigemayhem

6 years ago

i like fortune cookies and all but the paper sort of hurts my stomach

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Pig @paigemayhem

7 years ago

there’s no i in denial

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Pig @paigemayhem

7 years ago

my last tweet flopped. you know what else will flop? my body when i fling it off a bridge

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Pig @paigemayhem

7 years ago

cuisinart x aerosmith - sweet emulsion

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Pig @paigemayhem

7 years ago

redneck acupuncture: just stabbing sewing needles into my body

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Pig @paigemayhem

7 years ago

banned from urban outfitters :( on a completely unrelated note, businesses apparently don’t like when you come in only for sucking on their salt lamps

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Pig @paigemayhem

7 years ago

just thinkin bout how dogs bark with their mouth closed and it sound like “berf”

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Pig @paigemayhem

7 years ago

i thought it was loo pole until i was 15

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Pig @paigemayhem

7 years ago

chicken pox pie

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Pig @paigemayhem

7 years ago

when you don’t have anymore room to save the pikachu shocked meme so you have to make up your own version: Ö

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Pig @paigemayhem

7 years ago

I love when people have a lapse in judgement. I think it’s great. In fact, one may call me “pro lapse.”

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Pig @paigemayhem

7 years ago

a clown posts on a neighborhood page looking for job opportunities that he is “down to clown.” met with backlash and he is forced to shut down his business due to his confusion