Pate Gardner @pate_gardner
I think I’m a comedian. Instagram: @pate_gardner Joined December 2009-
Tweets2K
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Followers164
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Following163
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Likes11K
Wait, if we’re both adulting… who’s driving the struggle bus?!
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Is it helpful to watch Minions before Despicable Me or can I just watch them in the order they came out?
My cousin said they’re redoing Die Hard with the Rock
If there’s not a wadded up napkin in my pocket, call the coroner. I’m gone.
Pate Gardner retweeted
If you hear emergency sirens in your town, that means there’s a low ticket alert for a Zak Toscani standup show near you 10/24 - Florence, SC - secret location 11/1 - Asheville, NC - Catawba Brewing 11/8 & 11/9 - New Orleans - Sports Drink 11/13 - Jackson, MS - Hal and Mals
Call me a Haitian immigrant the way I got that dog in me
50 First Dates: 10/10 romcom. Are the implications of the ending frightening? Of course. But cinema requires us to suspend our disbelief
Looks like I picked the right time to get really into picking up flaming logs
Just saw Longlegs and I had to ride home with the radio on 89.7 WMHK
Listen I read his little book a few years ago and it’s the dumbest shit I ever actually finished
Thoughts and prayers to everybody at a comedy show tonight
I’m gonna eat so much tomorrow. The 4th is my Thanksgiving
They should make Gogurt that comes in a little bowl so you can eat it with a spoon
Y’all’s AirPod cases are dirty?? I just let my dog lick mine clean
Me, handing my newborn daughter to her grandma to hold for the first time: it’s from both of us
Pretty cool of god to let everybody see the northern lights real quick before this shit is all over
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