Platonic Long-Distance Roommates @platonicroomate
Aesthetic: Okay, not bad instagram.com/platonic_roomm… Los Angeles, CA Joined January 2018-
Tweets1K
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Followers133
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Following435
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Likes4K
Immediately booking a flight
“I’m a boob guy” bro just say you like missionary
If you’re my friend’s gf you’re my step sister that I didn’t ask for and now I’m forced to sit next to you at dinner and stuff
*bringing a girl back to my place* Can I get you anything to drink? Jell-O shot?
She throw it back in a way which left me unbelievably confused
She throw it back in an ostentatious way had me befuddled
My brain was literally designed to eat berries in a cave, stop sending me emails
What have I been up to? Passing old people on the sidewalk like it’s nothing.
It can’t be that hard to find the missing F-35. We last used it in the sky probably so let’s start looking there.
I most want to operate heavy machinery when I am off the meds so that’s a fucking catch 22 doc
Congrats on the promotion
My type? Blonde Bomb Shells. And by that I mean Barbenheimer enthusiasts
No fear of reaping what I sew I literally do not be sewing shit
Just seen a man holding a cigarette like a match stick not technically illegal but I would like some information
Bro last night was crazy. That’s the last time we go out after I’ve had my bedtime tea
Flying the flag at half mast bc my buddy shit himself in a Panda Express
Unfortunately ACAB includes scooby doo and the gang
I actually did get invited to the Met Gala but I had a dental appointment and I didn’t wanna reschedule again
aabc @aabc1768422
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Michelle A. Cmarik @MichelleCmarik
116 Followers 311 Following Educator, mom, secret writer. Follow me on Medium https://t.co/vBLYti9aXn
Ryan G @_dropknowledge
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SAEEDD BLACK @ThecorrectBlack
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jackson rodriguez �.. @0xjackson_
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Alex “Very Online�.. @Alex_Simon_DP
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31 Followers 250 Following I am a Digital Marketer and SEO Expert. I can promote any business worldwide. I can do google top ranking. I can promote any business in top of google.
ellen porteous @EllenPorteous
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Matthew Cosmero @MCosmero
7 Followers 49 Following I came to do three things sleep, write, and play video games. And I definitely have insomnia
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✰ℍ𝕆ℕ𝔼𝕐.. @NikkiRaye8
182 Followers 427 Following V͜͡E͜͡R͜͡I͜͡F͜͡I͜͡E͜͡D͜͡♡︎ 100% 🇶 🇺 🇪 🇪 🇳 ♕︎ 💖 $NikkiRaii 💖
Becca Fitch @beccfitch
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genesis banda @genesisbanda7
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Accidental Bronson @AccidentalBron
70K Followers 16K Following Things that sound like Action Bronson lyrics
Ryan G @_dropknowledge
2K Followers 2K Following Building an IP Empire Game Publishing Lead 👉 @SlingShotDAO Vibing 👉 @web3gaminggroup Insanely Bad Developer 👉 @Developer_DAO Co-Founder 👉 @DAOCentral
Dr. Rhonda Patrick @foundmyfitness
554K Followers 201 Following Ph.D in biomedical science interested in nutrition, brain & aging. Host of FoundMyFitness podcast https://t.co/rirQwqebxL
Aaron Rothleder @Such_A_leader
41 Followers 42 Following
Fola @folasopher44
36 Followers 54 Following
brandon @aceu
414K Followers 427 Following wish me well | faker fan account | nsic | 💫🗡 | @Sentinels | business inquiries: [email protected]
Patrick Rendon @patrickrendon97
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J Dog @jensenraenoah
364 Followers 416 Following
Alex “Very Online�.. @Alex_Simon_DP
388 Followers 875 Following Photographer | Baker | Camera Assistant
I think you should le.. @ITYSL
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i can be your long lo.. @PallaviGunalan
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BARRY @ClareBarry
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jodie @jodieegrace
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kelly @BoyYeetsWorld
31K Followers 2K Following I used to live in South Carolina but now I don’t | extremely successful and wealthy person
Can’t talk, I’m listening to the same song on repeat until I hate it
My therapist and I are currently working on my kick flip. We’ve nailed the ollie but yeah my kick flip needs work.
Taking obsessive notes on everyone’s Spotify wrapped so that I can manufacture the perfect wrapped myself and dominate next year
Need me a cologne that smells like pool water. Like too many chemicals mixed together. Something that says, oh he just got out of a hot tub maybe
Bro you’re really gonna act like that when Santa Clause is literally on his way to town?
If I ever get married my fiancé better hard launch our engagement with a pic of her choking me
Starting a conspiracy theory that conservative ideas are an act of European espionage created to arouse dissent among American patriots.
Preguntas is what I’d have if my girl ever told me she was preguntanent
Dogs will have the greatest toys in the world and still choose to eat your socks. I look up to them
And tell the chef no need to waste time chopping everything up. I’ll be doing that in my mouth
Getting too drunk and using my Domain Expansion on the west side cuz my friend told me he didn’t think Godzilla Minus One was that good.
DIY? I don’t want to “do it myself” I would like less work actually thank you
Please don’t be mean to me or I will frame you for a crime
(doing standup routine) Dating! Dating is tough man! I gotta explain the amulet that fuels my greed but also is the only thing keeping Beelzebub at bay?? After going on bumble it's like screw it! Beelzebub (cheering from the crowd): take the amulet off!
Abraham Lincoln’s secret service
i didn't know the killer was in theaters until right now
If they invented Spider-Man today, he’d be a streamer instead of a photographer. And he’d still be broke.
New Scorsese masterpiece just dropped
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