Rachel Schmitz @rschmity

just out here waiting for the aliens to beam me up Joined July 2017

Tweets

677
Followers

825
Following

118
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754

Rachel Schmitz @rschmity

3 years ago

Happy 5 year anniversary of THE tweet

Rachel Schmitz @rschmity

8 years ago

Happy 5 year anniversary of THE tweet

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I once was offered multiple available times to schedule my dentist appointment, with 2:30 being one of them. It was by far the most inconvenient out of the choices for my schedule but I had to do it for the culture.

Amanda @Pandamoanimum

3 years ago

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Rachel Schmitz @rschmity

3 years ago

Today I brought my own cup to my fav coffee shop as usual but I had forgotten to rinse it out after it had sat in my car over the weekend and upon sipping my latte I got a mouthful of curdled milk and it just goes to show it rlly do be the consequences of your own actions

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Rachel Schmitz @rschmity

4 years ago

Good morning and happy Sunday to everyone except the person who coined the phrase “Okie dokie artichokie!”. What the fuck is that shit.

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Rachel Schmitz @rschmity

4 years ago

My jump rope whipped me during my workout today…maybe this Valentine’s Day wasn’t a bust after all

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Rachel Schmitz @rschmity

4 years ago

Wordle 228 1/6 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 Today is my day

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Rachel Schmitz @rschmity

4 years ago

One thing I love about being old is doing a group activity with your friends who are also old and bonding over all the ways it made you sore the next day

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Rachel Schmitz @rschmity

4 years ago

rschmity

Venmo @Venmo

4 years ago

rschmity

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Rachel Schmitz @rschmity

4 years ago

I love shopping at target but I would sooner die than to be caught at target in clothes that I bought from target that shit is so embarrassing 😩

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Rachel Schmitz @rschmity

4 years ago

We’re nearly halfway through September and I haven’t bought a single pair of boots yet where’s my gold star

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Rachel Schmitz @rschmity

4 years ago

You shouldn’t have to be someone or bring someone with you that knows about cars to the mechanic in order to get good service at an honest price. We live in a society.

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Rachel Schmitz @rschmity

4 years ago

How do I turn of my “binge this show until the characters you’ve been shipping finally kiss “ gene

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Rachel Schmitz @rschmity

4 years ago

In the song Freaky Friday, it ends with Lil Dicky in Kendall Jenner’s body, which means that theoretically Lil Dicky is still in Kendall Jenner’s body. Which means that theoretically Devin Booker is actually dating Lil Dicky. Is Devin Booker a homosexual?… (1/65)

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Rachel Schmitz @rschmity

4 years ago

Bruh my coworker is quitting soon and today I was like “I call your office when you leave” as in I want dibs on his office but he took it as like I call him on the phone when he’s not there and he was so concerned he was like “what do you mean” and I can’t stop thinking ab it

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Rachel Schmitz @rschmity

4 years ago

Other peoples’ biggest fear about driving: crashing and dying Me, an intellectual: absolutely terrified to get stuck behind a school bus and get unknowingly bullied by the cool kids in the back

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Rachel Schmitz @rschmity

4 years ago

If my future husband ever proposes to me on top of a mountain with no one but a camera person around I will literally say no…I love attention bitch there better be enough people for a proper APPLAUSE

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Rachel Schmitz @rschmity

4 years ago

Ok…I’m hoping this is a stupid question but…Do y’all keep your eyes open or closed when you’re getting your teeth cleaned at the dentist?

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Rachel Schmitz @rschmity

4 years ago

You could stick the ugliest motherfucker you’ve ever seen on a motorcycle and they will think they are the epitome of sex appeal and I think that’s beautiful