Shadows of Control @shadows_control

Writer, researcher, and survivor championing the fight against coercive control and domestic abuse. Freedom begins with awareness. shadowsofcontrol.com Ireland Joined February 2024

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Shadows of Control @shadows_control

2 hours ago

By using carefully crafted words and phrases, gaslighters distort your perception of events and shift responsibility for their actions, making you question your own feelings, memory, and worth. #Gaslighting shadowsofcontrol.com/articles/gasli…

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Shadows of Control @shadows_control

4 hours ago

Fear doesn’t always come with yelling. Sometimes it’s silence, mood changes, or looks.

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Shadows of Control @shadows_control

5 hours ago

“I’m only a 2 out of 10.” That’s how my ex-husband described his abuse. He said a man he knew was a 10 out of 10, and his wife stayed with him because “she knew the importance of family.” He declared it was incredibly selfish of me to leave him considering he was “only a 2.”…

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Shadows of Control @shadows_control

6 hours ago

You deserve a love that feels like home, not a battlefield. 💘

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Shadows of Control @shadows_control

9 hours ago

Many abusers feel most threatened when their partner begins to reclaim power, confidence, or autonomy. That’s when control tactics often escalate. #CoerciveControl

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Shadows of Control @shadows_control

14 hours ago

Guilt is one of the abuser’s most powerful tools—twisting your empathy into a cage you didn’t see forming.

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Shadows of Control @shadows_control

18 hours ago

Emotional abuse manipulates feelings to create guilt and unworthiness, while psychological abuse distorts perception to destabilize a victim’s sense of reality. Learning to identify these behaviors is key to breaking free from their control. #AbuseAwareness…

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Shadows of Control @shadows_control

21 hours ago

Coercive control doesn’t start with violence—it starts with erosion. Of confidence. Of identity. Of worth. #PsychologicalAbuse #CoerciveControl

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Shadows of Control @shadows_control

23 hours ago

Have you ever lied, defended, or covered for your partner to avoid others thinking badly of them? I have. Many times. ✋ Perhaps a friend makes a passing comment about something they’ve noticed, and you jump to your partner’s defense, listing off all the wonderful things about…

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Shadows of Control @shadows_control

a day ago

A hallmark of #coercivecontrol is the micromanagement of daily life —rigid rules, restrictions, and expectations enforced to control a partner's actions, thoughts, and personal freedom. shadowsofcontrol.com/articles/coerc…

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Shadows of Control @shadows_control

a day ago

Abusers alternate kindness and cruelty to keep you trapped in the relationship.

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Shadows of Control @shadows_control

a day ago

Abusers frequently start arguments to provoke conflict. They enjoy creating tension and keeping you on edge. 🚩

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Shadows of Control @shadows_control

a day ago

Abuse doesn’t stop at the victim. Children absorb the fear, the control, the silencing. It shapes their emotional development, beliefs, and sense of safety. #DomesticAbuseAwareness

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Shadows of Control @shadows_control

a day ago

An abuser’s ‘favours’ and ‘kind gestures’ are part of their arsenal of psychological tactics to get control over you. I recall one occasion when my ex-husband verbally attacked me, calling me a bitch, unintelligent, and incapable. He accused me of being “f**ked up” and "in need…

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Shadows of Control @shadows_control

2 days ago

“No one else would put up with you.” “You’re crazy.” “You’re overreacting.” All part of the script.

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Shadows of Control @shadows_control

2 days ago

Weaponized incompetence is a control tactic seen in coercively controlling relationship in which one partner feigns inability to avoid responsibility and shift the balance of power. #emotionalabuse shadowsofcontrol.com/articles/weapo…

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Shadows of Control @shadows_control

2 days ago

Coercive control is made of rules, restrictions, and fear—designed to keep you small, silent, and under control. #CoerciveControl

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Shadows of Control @shadows_control

2 days ago

Abusers often shift blame onto you, claiming their actions are a reaction to your behavior. They might accuse you of provoking them or making them angry, thereby justifying their abuse. Abuse is never the victim's fault! ✋#DomesticAbuseAwareness

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Shadows of Control @shadows_control

2 days ago

Anna Pinkerton believed she'd found her soulmate, only to have him slowly strip away her confidence and steal precious time from her life and children. She shares her story of breaking free. #coercivecontrol shadowsofcontrol.com/video/anna-pin…