smooth phillip @smoothphill
my new life goal is to get huck to block me California, USA Joined December 2014-
Tweets223
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Followers503
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Following1K
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Likes1K
smooth phillip retweeted
you can't truly appreciate the imperial march until you hear it on vinyl
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smooth phillip retweeted
sorry Rey no bottle openers but don't worry i know this great Force trick *concentrates fiercely* "Kylo this one is a twist-off"
smooth phillip retweeted
dad the wookiee used all my garnier fructis
smooth phillip retweeted
uncle lando said my helmet made me look like a depressed lampshade and then everyone laughed and high-fived him i hate this family so much
smooth phillip retweeted
"It's one of those new Hoverboards!" 9: Mom, this is just 2 Roombas taped together. "Don't be silly. Now go vacuum...I mean play upstairs"
smooth phillip retweeted
STAR WARS SPOILER: ok now that the nerds stopped reading, my parents are outta town and i'm throwin a party. my brother's gonna buy us beer
smooth phillip retweeted
hi i'm ted cruz, definitely not three toddlers stacked no sir
smooth phillip retweeted
Me when something has a thousand RTs but I don't understand a gol durn word of it.
smooth phillip retweeted
i updated wikipedia's trump celeb endorsement list to be more accurate
smooth phillip retweeted
Never fuck with a guy with reindeer antlers on his minivan, he has nothing to live for.
smooth phillip retweeted
Why is it called a "sports bar" and not a "tool shed"?
smooth phillip retweeted
donlad trump reportedly says that normal type pokemon are a waste of time. they're just dirty birds & rats who have no right being a pokemon
"daddy help there's a monster under my bed" [looks under & sees donald trump eating unfrosted pop tarts] yes there is, son. Yes there is
smooth phillip retweeted
BUILDING INSPECTOR: what's this called DARTH VADER: the death— [inspector's eyes look up from his clipboard] DARTH VADER: uh the health star
smooth phillip retweeted
The Hulk just texted me a picture of a zucchini, I think?
smooth phillip retweeted
.@DanMentos Makin a list Checkin it twice Gonna find out who's naughty/nice CAUSE THE NSA CAN SEE UR LIFE LIKE JACOB'S LIGHTHOUSE ON LOST
smooth phillip retweeted
No I can't come to your wedding. I have to dust
"White people have no culture"
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