table 54 @table54wtf
Tales of the people of table 54. The trials, the tribulations, the complete freak show known as....table 54. Joined April 2015-
Tweets153
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Followers128
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Following161
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Likes220
table 54 retweeted
Getting back together with your ex is like putting yesterday's dirty underwear back on after you've showered.
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Me: can I grab a drink for you folks? 54: 1st tell me about your endless shrimp?!? Me: Sir, this is not Red Lobster!? #gtfo #serverproblems
Sums up my life #blondeenough #girlproblems #sorrynotsorry
54: I've got 4 coupons we'll be using today. (before I say hello). This is a chain restaurant, not extreme coupon.. Keeps walking #GTFOH
"Ugh. It's hot outside. What's it like out on your patio? #GTFOH #serverlife
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So, if I'm giving the dog a flea bath & I'm in the tub with her... Did I just get a flea bath too? #doglove
54: This cheese burger tastes like beef ugh.Me: oh, did you want a turkey burger? 54: ugh no I said cheese burger, but it tastes like beef.
table 54 retweeted
if i ask you for your ID when you order a drink, show me your fucking ID and don't be fucking annoying about it #serverproblems
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Tonight on Anxiety: Live. I think I have a tumor on my elbow
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Personally I think any child that finds itself in an animal habitat should have to fight its way out. But I also played a lot of Donkey Kong
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If the lady at table 55 doesn't order soon, I'm gonna punch her in the throat!
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This road trip brought to you by music of the Dirty South. If you're not shaking your ass, you're just not listening.
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As part of trying to be healthier, I bought a Fitbit today. I've taken 74 steps and 9 were when I fell down the stairs cuz my pants fell off
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Old lady shoes are SO comfortable. How are they so grouchy all the time? It's like they're walking on their own little pair of clouds. Omg.
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You know what you should do? That's right, you should have a glass of water. It's hydration time motherfucker.
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Priest: those are honestly the best sins I've ever heard. No one else can sin like that. How do you do it? Me: [wearing Horny Idiot shirt]
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13 says 'Alice through the looking glass' would be a great movie to watch on a trip and I don't think he has any idea how right he really is
table 54 retweeted
You know you're doing great at life when you wake up and think 'what's going on? what day is it?' for 16 years straight
table 54 retweeted
I was thinking about getting a calf tattoo, but then I thought, do I really like baby cows that much?
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