Evin Sebastian @talk2evin
Recommended by 4 out of 5 people that recommend things. Joined June 2013-
Tweets1K
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Following96
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Likes258
I still remember the first time I lied about being able to time travel. It was tomorrow.
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its actually not that difficult to tell crocodiles and alligators apart. one will see you later and one will see you in a while
Relationship or hallucination? Either way, I'm seeing somebody.
Soon as I finish untangling these earphones Im going to google who made them & I'm going to ask them to invent shoelaces that tie themselves
What if life on Earth is just a video game for gods, and my guy has the crappy controller?
Kids these days think Christmas is all about getting presents instead of celebrating the birth of Santa Claus.
Last year I joined a support group for antisocial people. we haven't met yet.
I wish I could replace my central nervous system with a central confidence system.
Your call is important to us. Please continue to hold until your battery is dead.
[shows up late for first day of new job]*blames it on rush hour*[shows up late for second day of new job]*blames it on rush hour 2*
I have sychic powers. For example, right now you're thinking, "it's psychic."
Saw a werewolf at the bus stop this morning. Or possibly just a very hairy guy. Either way, the silver bullets worked.
Love is telling someone to go to hell and worrying about them getting there safely.
[Picking up girls]Me: you like bad boys, huh?Girls: yea.. Me to my wing man: tell them Wing man: he's just literally the worst
Do let me know if you're ever unhappy with any of my Tweets. I will block you immediately. Anything to stop you being sad. You're welcome :)
This is Bill..Bill has a wife..Bill isn't scared of his wife & says what he wants when he..This is Bill's wife..Bill is no longer available
An assault rifle that only shoots blanks should be called a JK-47!I am fun at parties please invite me to them.
[ during job interview ]- "Why do you think you would make a good asset to our team?"- "I give up, why?"
Be nice to Canadians, American tweeters. We're going to need somewhere to go after this next election
pickup line: did u fall from heaven because so did Satan
Greg J. Marchand MD @MarchandSurgery
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Nope, it's not zahid @Zahid_Ahmed07
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