Costco: We’ve designed a ruthlessly efficient, highly profitable warehouse store. People like it so much they actually pay us just to come through the door. We limit choice by carefully selecting the best products, while also knowing exactly what the average homeowner needs. No one else makes it easier to convince a person who stops for a single item to spend $300 only 30 minutes later. That sounds amazing. And even better, you’re not messing around with food, either. Costco: 😳 Actually... But at least you’re not making hot food and pretending to be a restaurant. Costco: 😳😳 But at least you're making big money on markups. Costco: Nah man, we sell it at a loss. So a hotdog and coke is like $8? Costco: IT'S A BUCK FIFTY!! YOLO!! Oh FFS. But at least the food court is well-designed just like the rest of the store, right? Costco: Nope, it's total chaos. Imagine a mosh pit of hungry people holding tickets waiting for their number to be called by the same person making 100 hot dogs simultaneously. Oh dear. Costco: And we’re gonna put it right freaking next to the checkouts. It's like 40 people with carts full of toilet paper and soda crammed into a tiny area. Where they get handed their food and drinks? Costco: Well...they get a cup. They need to fill it themselves. But in another area of the store at least. Costco: Nope, the soda fountain is right frickin' there. It’s checkouts, carts, food pickup, and soda dispensing, all in one place! Also, don't forgot your straw, we don’t actually keep those next to the soda machines. You get those at the hot dog pickup. Next to the checkout mosh pit? Costco: Hell yeah.